I feel like a horrible person when I complain about my kids…because they’re all generally happy and healthy. They’re good kids. A little loud, but that’s no one’s fault but my own. I realize that. It’s genetic, so really it’s my parent’s fault. 🙂
I know how lucky I am to have the opportunity to stay home with them. And I love it. I really do. But I know many of you will understand me when I say this: there is such a thing as too much togetherness.
(I almost hesitate to say that. I imagine Heather Spohr might disagree with me. I know she’d give anything to have one more moment with her Maddie, even if it was a scream-filled-pull-your-hair-out kind of moment.)
I am with my kids (during the summer) all but about 5% of the time. They go to church and we’re not together there. And we occasionally get a babysitter. But when we get a sitter, it’s usually for a reason. If I’m going to pay someone to keep my children, I feel like I should use that time to it’s maximum potential. I should accomplish something. So I get a sitter and I run errands, work on my temporary volunteer job, chaperon trips with the youth at church, stuff like that. Occasionally we’ll get a sitter in order to go on a date. But that’s not as common as it should be.
And then I started to think about something. I say that I want to accomplish something. And I do. But I’m beginning to question my own definition of “something”. Does that mean I have to check off x number of things off my never-ending to do list? No. That’s nice and all(I do love marking things off a list!), but maybe I should focus on accomplishing those non-tangible things. Not being a mommy for a little while. Not being responsible for anyone but myself for a few hours. Not having to clean up spit-up, drool or poop. Not having to chastise, yell or give mean-mommy looks.
So tomorrow, instead of going to the church and working and instead of staying here and dealing with bottles, sippy cups and my pantless, almost-potty-trained daughter, I’ll be going to have a “Me Day”. I will be running some errands, but it’s SO much faster without my three amigos tagging a long. And I’ve heard that I should go see The Proposal. Apparently it’s a good, funny movie. (And you get to see Ryan Reynolds nekkid! heh.)
But I will miss them while I’m gone…even if it is just a few hours. And I’ll smile when I remember how funny it was when Lydia accidentally spilled half a bag of fresh blueberries into the muffin mix instead of just one cup. The look on her face was so adorable. And I’ll laugh when I think about Carter singing to Lydia after she pooped on the potty for the first time today! (I sang and danced, too, but I’m sure it wasn’t nearly as cute!) And I’ll swoon when I think about how sweet little Asa burrows his head into my shoulder-the best feeling in the world!
And what better way to maximize baby-sitter usage than to relax and spend time taking care of “me” so that when I get back, I can be a better “Mom-me”?
I think it’s important to take that time. Trust me, I understand how hard it is. Esp. with my two being big and wanting to do a zillion things and then the baby who needs to not do a zillion things every single day.
It’s good for you to have a day and I hope you enjoy it. Can’t wait to hear what you think about the movie.
One more thing, every mother needs a break now and again. I’d give anything, as most of us would to give Heather one more moment with Maddie. One more day, one more hug. But we can’t. And it doesn’t mean that loving her and wanting to give that to her, takes away from the fact, that we deserve some time away.
To be a good mom, you do have to take care of yourself. You need some spa time. Have you ever had a pedicure? I get one once a month just because it feels so good. So make yourself an appointment for a manicure, a pedicure, ooh or go for a massage. Just pamper yourself just a little. You will be amazed not only what it does for the body but also for the mind and spirit!
Oh Bridget you are so deserving. You are so very, very deserving. And PLEASE make this a regular thing. Don’t think that after your “me” day you are good to go for a while….you owe it to yourself to do this regularly. Do you hear me? REGULARLY! You need a re-charge….you need down-time (just like our kids do)… you must make time for Bridget b/c Bridget makes time for everyone else. You are a wonderful mother and you need to be wonderful to yourself! I hope it was a fabulous day!!!!
What do you mean, “it’s genetic”! We aren’t LOUD! LOL!
I hope you had a good “me” day. It is very important that you have some private time…and don’t feel guilty either. You are an awesome mom and I am so proud of you. I love you!
Way to go on the “me day”! I actually got a sitter tonight while josh was on call so that my sister and I could go to the movie. The proposal was too cute!!! Hope you enjoy it as much as I did!!! Have a great day!
Bridget, I LOVE this post! I just watched an Oprah all about motherhood and the things moms hide (like the fact that sometimes you just need a break). I’m staying home with Miller too and I totally get needing that “me” time. It has been days and days since I’ve had a break from Miller (besides when he goes to bed at night). And, like you said, it would be nice every now and then to only have to worry about yourself. I think it is hard for us moms to admit that we need that time. And, when we do get that time (if ever), we feel we need to accomplish something instead of just relaxing. I’m glad that you took a me day. I wish I lived closer so we could do some me days together.