A Day of Firsts

Your first day of Kindergarten.  Your first day of “big school”.  You are so, so ready.  (I am, too!)  We walked into the brand new school and you led the way to your classroom.  You feel safe here already.

How did you get so big?  When did it happen?  I thought I was watching, savoring it all…but sometimes the biggest changes in life are actually just a culmination of gradual little changes.  And somehow in all the watching and waiting, I missed it.  I missed the moment when you became a real “big” kid.

We dropped off your stuff in the classroom and headed to the cafeteria for breakfast.  I showed you how to go through the line.  How to get your napkin, your milk, your tray.  We found you a seat and I realized that you had never seen a milk carton.  After showing you how to open it, we started to walk away.  “Bye, buddy!  We love you!”  “Bye!”  And it wasn’t until I reached the door that I heard you running up behind me.  “I need a straw”, you said with tears brimming in your eyes.  “Baby they don’t have straws here.  Just drink out of your carton.”   “But I need a straw.”  “Well, they don’t have straws, babe.”  “But…but…but…”  You cling to me.  This isn’t really about straws, is it? Walking back to your seat, I show you how to drink milk out of carton and then we really leave.  You wave and although I think I can sense a little hesitation in your goodbye, you mean it this time.

I have to admit that I was a bit caught off guard by having to leave you sitting alone in the lunchroom.  I didn’t expect to leave you without a specific adult being in charge of you.  A lot of other parents stayed until their child(ren) had finished breakfast, but we had to go take Lydia to her school.  I am confident that you figured it out.  I know that there were plenty of adults in there, but it still felt weird.  I hope you figured out what to do with your trash and how to get back to your room.  I can’t wait to hear all about it this afternoon.


Confident, you chatter away on the way to school.  You tell me and your dad that God is following you to school, but when we ask what you mean, you brush us off.   I can’t help but wonder if it’s true that children are closer to God than adults.  Somehow I feel the answer is yes.

Quiet, but still with a pep in your step, you walk down the hall.  “I see the ladybug, Mommy!” And we find your name and hang up your bag.  Walking in the door, you squeeze my hand a little tighter and I can feel the anxiety begin.  “Hey, babe.  Why don’t we go color? Look!  Mrs. H already has crayons out.”  I say a few things that make you giggle, get a kiss and start to head out the door.  And I see the tears beginning to well in your eyes.  Trying so hard not to cry that you can’t even speak…I know, little one.  I know.  I know how it feels.  You come in for one last hug and nestle into that sweet spot just inside my neck and I breathe in your sweet smell and take a mental picture.  For all the pictures that I take, some of my favorite ones are only in my head.

I leave you behind, crying.  I feel a little guilty about it, but I know you will be fine without me.  You are strong.  You are “big”.  And you did, after all, tell me that God was with you.


Asa is searching for you both.  He keeps wandering down the hall and knocking on your doors.
We’re gonna have a big day, he and I.  And I can’t wait to pick you guys up and find out all about your day.
But first?  I’m gonna take a nap.  🙂

I love you both!
You are my sunshines.

And I do miss you…a little.


10 Responses to A Day of Firsts
  1. AmazingGreis
    August 9, 2010 | 9:11 am

    So cute. I hope they both enjoy their first day of school. I hope you enjoy the one on one time with the youngest and some extra quiet! XOXO

  2. Grandma
    August 9, 2010 | 9:50 am

    Brought tears to my eyes. But I, too, know that they will have a good day. Their teachers will get them involved with activities and they will have a great time. Hope to hear about their first day tonight.

  3. Chibi Jeebs
    August 9, 2010 | 10:21 am

    They’re so adorable. I hope their first day goes well and that your nap is wonderful! 😉

  4. Liz Sanders
    August 9, 2010 | 11:45 am

    Oh the first day of Kindergarten! I thought I was going to do fine, (and in the end I did okay) what got me was the principal saying over the intercom, “Welcome class of 2018”. I got chills and still couldn’t believe that I was taking my child, MY Child to school. And just like you I worried about who was actually watching him, in the lunch room and if he decided to explore the woods behind the school. I knew the teachers were more than capable, but like I can be with all of my kids I always have felt like no one can do it better than we, (his parents) can.
    Bless you on this special of days. The silence can be deafening at times, but it doesn’t last long! We still have 2 more to get into school. I just wonder if it will be easier then?
    Oh and enjoy that nap!

  5. Monica (peapodsquadmom)
    August 9, 2010 | 12:11 pm

    i’ve held it together so well today and then…dammit…i had to come to your blog. now i’m crying again. thank goodness it’s almost time to go pick up my babies.

  6. Heather
    August 9, 2010 | 4:03 pm

    Now I’m bawling.

    The comment about God got me right…here. <3

    I hope the rest of the day was perfect and that the rest of the week goes as well!

  7. Stacey Flury
    August 9, 2010 | 5:07 pm

    Ok Bridget….No fair…I could feel the tears burning in my eyes and remembering when Makayla started school. I could feel my throat closing with anxiousness as a mom letting her kids go off to school. I love the letters you have wrote to them..it wil be forever treasured by them….You are a great mom..nad Marshall is a agreat dad..He just gleamed talking about them this morning..They are beautiful kids

  8. Mama
    August 9, 2010 | 5:31 pm

    I can hardly type for crying. This is just the beginning of many times when you have to leave them alone….well, not really, because God is always there for them and you. This will be a good year. They are ready and able to take on this challenge. They come from good stock!! LOL!

  9. Mary @ A Simple Twist of Faith
    August 10, 2010 | 7:59 pm

    Great pictures! Thanks for sharig them. They look so excited!

  10. punkinmama
    August 11, 2010 | 2:48 pm

    Dang it, Bridget! I’m crying over here! I’m not supposed to be crying at work!