I don’t do that often.

I cried today.
Like the real, big ugly cry.
The kind of cry that scares small children.
(Literally.)

Friday started with above average chaos at home,
followed by special activities at school
and lunch with a by-then very tired 2 year old.

And then a two hour drive on which no one napped.

And then the complete destruction of our friend’s playroom.
(Sorry, Noelle.  Really, really sorry.)

Then a late (for my kids) night party, which was fun and wonderful and something I didn’t want to miss,
but which made for very cranky children and more tears and general bedlam of sleeping somewhere other than home.

And there was the 2 year old who coughed and turned and coughed and twisted for hours on end.
And the baby-in-my-belly who is apparently planning on becoming a gymnast.

And there were the multiple pregnancy-I-must-pee-right!!!!!-now!!!! in the middle of the night,
including one time where my knee unexpectedly found the edge of the train table.

And the point where said sick coughing baby kicked me out of the bed.

And then the drive back to home…oh the drive back home…

Listening to yet another  Veggie Tales movie and
trying my damnedest not to close my eyes for even just a teeny-tiny-little-sec.

Exhausted from the night before,
Bladder full, but alone in the car with three small children…
I contemplated peeing on the side of the road.

But we were so close.  Maybe 10 minutes out.
I can make it!
Surely I can make…

Bluh-dund.  Bluh-dunt.  Bluh-dunnnnn.

Are you kidding me???
I don’t have time for a flat tire!!
I’ve got to PEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!

Call Marshall.
My knight in shining armor comes to save me.

Rushed phone calls.
Angry bladder.
Frustration at the whole situation.
Exhaustion.

And then, right then…I lost it.
I just couldn’t handle it any more.

I’m not generally a crier.
(Exception: Singing or speaking at church)

I call my mom.
Please go with me to the tire place.
I’m so tired.

Exhaustion.
Pure exhaustion.

“I’m no superman” plays on repeat in my head.
Complete with the “wah-ah-wah-ah-wahhhh”.

And I cried.
The ugly cry.

Hours later my eyes still feel puffy.

But you know what?
The tire could have blown and flipped the car.
Someone could have hit me from behind when I was easing off the road on a curve.

The tire place is usually busy, but not today.
Today was the last day for a $50 discount on my brand of tires.
And tomorrow is the last day of my “club” discount.

Some may call that lucky.
I call that blessed.

And sometimes I forget how truly blessed I am.
Lots of little things like this and many, many big things too.

Jesus loves me, this I know.
For the bible tells me so…

…even when I ugly cry especially when I ugly cry.