I was cleaning out my drafts folder and I found this.
I’d forgotten that I written it at all, but I’m glad I did.
Once I found it, I remembered tapping it out on the tiny keyboard of my phone.
And I remember wanting to finish it, but deciding instead to get the epidural redone.
I think that was probably a good choice.
I listen to the beep-beep-beep of your monitor.
As your heart races, so does mine.
And then with the slowing…like a deep breath…
We both relax.
Good variablilty, they say.
Faster, slower, faster, slower…
There is a strange comfort in the consistency of the variability.
An event like this one, so unpredictable-
Oddly reassuring by the repetition.
The tightening – from the inside out…
At this point a gentle reminder that you are almost here.
My body is working as it should be, which is wonderful…
But I can’t help but mourn the fact that these are the last few hours that you will be completely mine.
I can’t complain though.
We’ve had a good run, you and I.
And it’s time to share you, I know.
There are so many people waiting to meet you,
To love you, to support you, to care for you…
Just as they have done for me.
So glad she arrived safely. I love you both SO much!