for me, it is always there

after hours of squirming and fussing and crying
the exhaustion overwhelms
and you finally give in

(and i – who has been unable to comfort you-
am awash with relief)

and within moments of surrender
your lip curls slightly up
and you squeak a tiny laugh
(one of the first of many, i pray)

your eyes flitter beneath their curtains
your mind dances and skips
and, i imagine, there is music
(lord, let there always be music)

your still so tiny body pressed close to mine
despite my own exhaustion
i cannot force myself to move
for i know i will interrupt.
and this moment that you are living in your dreams
is too wonderful to be bothered by mere mortals like me

and so i watch
and after hours of squirming and fussing and crying
the exhaustion overwhelms
and i finally give in

and i find that i was right
there was music
there is always music