The Big, The Bad.

It’s not often I let it get to me – all the Bad in the Big, Bad World.
But right now it is weighing me down.
Pushing, no pulling my shoulders down until it takes my breath.

I see stories of life lost accidentally,
Life stifled until it felt there was no other way,
And life tragically, horribly ripped from this world.


Senseless disease.
Unanswered questions.


Always there,
But tonight it’s thumping louder in my heart, in my mind.
And it’s tormenting my soul.

And I want to jump up and fix it all.
I want to scream at injustice and watch it slink away.
I want to rally against The Big, The Bad and prove that good is greater than evil.

But tonight…
I feel small
And insignificant.
And weary.

I hear the storms rolling in.
The thunder, the deep roar of thunder
doesn’t comfort me tonight.
It twists my being into more and more knots.

The wind swirls outside my window,
seemingly mirroring the thoughts in my head.
Dark and agitated.
Heavy and dangerous.

The lightening flashes, as does my anger.
And the rain comes.
Fast.  Furious.  Thick.
It whips around every corner
and slaps at whatever stands in the way.

The wind moans.
I ache.

The Big, Bad wins.

5 Responses to The Big, The Bad.
  1. Dawn
    September 22, 2011 | 8:06 am

    yeah. eke eke eke.

  2. sarah
    September 22, 2011 | 8:27 pm

    I love you.

  3. designhermomma
    September 22, 2011 | 9:46 pm

    I know this anxiety, and I do everything in my power to try to avoid it snatching me up. But some days, it totally does.

    I’m praying you find shelter in the storm tonight. Your words, although I know haunting and scary, are still beautiful.

  4. domestic extraordinaire
    September 23, 2011 | 10:40 am

    I have no words, dear friend. You know my heart sings for you and lifts you up in this big bad world. I pray for peace. For you, for me….for everyone.

  5. punkinmama
    September 26, 2011 | 11:40 am

    I have been struggling with much of the same lately. I do not understand. I’m sure I never really will. Well, until some other time and place. But it makes living here and now hard. And it’s completely overwhelming at times. And I’m not really sure what to do about it. Thanks for putting my thoughts into words. If nothing else, it’s good for my heart to see another heart in a similar place.

    Praying we both find some peace amongst all the storms soon.