Before Thanksgiving, I hit a wall.
I was tired. I was frustrated.
I was not the person I wanted to be.
I snapped at my children.
Turned away from my husband.
Cocooned myself within myself.
And then something happened.
I spoke not a word to anyone.
I made changes both big and small,
Some for forever and some for the now.
And though I’d been feeling that relentless tug of depression,
I knew, I knew that this was it.
This was my moment to push it away and say,
“I will not let you win. I will not.”
And though reading the words makes it sound easy, it was not.
It is not.
I imagine that it never will be.
Because even when things are bright and sunny, you know that dark and dreary will come.
And you wait and you wait and you wait.
And the waiting pulls you down and instead of hiding from It, you unknowingly run straight into Its trap.
But this time it was I who played the trick.
This time it was I who called It out and said,
“I know what you’re trying to do and it’s not gonna work!”
(If only it were always that easy.)
(I am grateful that this time it was.)