The wind is strong and almost steady.
The leaves make the most glorious swoosh-swoosh-swoossssshhhhh.
And the same three pipes of the windchime take turns singing.

The clock behind me says tick-ah, tick-ah, tick-ah, tick-ah.
The pendulum on the grandfather clock beside me just barely keeps up.
My eyes and my ears struggle to make them get in sync, but can’t.
And so I move so that I can no longer see the pendulum.
Problem solved!
(Or is it just problem ignored?)
(Is it even really a problem?)

I try to count all the different birds I hear.
Onetwothreefourfive…I easily differentiate.
But there are too many coos to count.

I close my eyes and let my limbs hang heavy.
Dropping my chin and rolling my head round and round gently,
I am acutely aware of the hundreds of muscles in my neck, chest, shoulder, arms.
Bending further, I feel the pull in my lower back.
A deep breath burns in my lungs.

I imagine that each strained muscle is a hurt, a heartache.
I feel the pain of the world on my shoulders.
(How cliché, but true.)
The brokenness of friends weigh heavily on my chest.
My own bitterness radiates down each arm.

Breathe deep.
Deeper still.

Filling every crevice of my torso until I can no longer take in any more.

And with release, relief rushes in.

Each breath, a prayer.
Each breath, a petition.
Each breath, a plea.

I call out to you with all of my heart…






5 Responses to Pr(air)
  1. Sherry Carr-Smith
    April 12, 2012 | 9:03 am


  2. Stephanie Precourt
    April 12, 2012 | 9:45 am


  3. Kim
    April 12, 2012 | 9:45 am

    See? This is what I am talking about. These words that weave a beautiful tapestry – I just can’t do that.
    But, I am so grateful for friends that can because I love reading them!!!

  4. Liz Sanders
    April 12, 2012 | 9:46 am

    I am feeling the weight of broken friends today as well. It’s a stinging pain, and I can only help from a distance and it tears me up inside. Praying is my only help, and a listening ear. I hope I help more than my mind thinks I am.

    Wonderful post.

  5. Jil
    April 13, 2012 | 2:13 pm

    This is one of the only blogs that I am reading during my break. I just can’t seem to give up the beauty that you create.

    I’ve experienced the deep sorrow of broken friendships. Know that time and our Saviors love will mend and heal. It does take time though as it is the death of something loved. My heart and prayers go out to you!!