And then there was the “newsletter” style webpage I had, which was still predominantly pictures with a running list of what we’d done and what he’d said.  I documented Lydia’s birth and early months this way.

And then my photo-blog host went out of business and I had to figure out a new format.  I went from queenofhaddock.com to theiveyleague.com.  My new blog host offered many new and exciting options-formats, widgets, etc.  And I played with those and set up a “pretty” site, but it was still mostly just a play-by-play of our lives.

It wasn’t until November 22, 2007 that I really found my blogging voice.  That is still, to this day, the hardest post I have ever had to write.  Can vividly remember sitting at my computer desk in the basement of our old house.  I remember typing and sobbing and typing and crying.  And I promise you that it was better than any therapy session I’ve ever been in.

Since then I’ve blogged my way through Marshall’s residency, a move, and another baby.  Sometimes it’s a glimpse into our lives- little stories about the kids, pictures(there will always be pictures!).  But a lot of times my posts are like my journal-what I’m thinking about, what’s important to me.  I’ve heard some people say that blogging is narcissistic, and to a degree it is, but to me it’s more about having something to look back on.  One day I’d like to take all the posts and all the pictures and have them bound into a book.  My journal.  My heart, my thoughts, my feelings…laid out not only for you to read now, but for me to remember later.

I will admit, however, that there is definitely some degree of satisfaction when I get a comment about a post.  Sometimes being a stay-at-home-mom gets really lonely, and it’s nice to have adult interaction-even if it’s through a computer screen!  And there have been times when I’ve posted things I’d never ever say out loud, only to be greeted with more love, compassion, understanding and uplifting than I could have imagined.  (Thank you for that, by the way!)

A few days ago I took a trip down memory e-lane, and had a look at some of those old posts.  It was then that I realized that I have, as of now, posted 300 times.  Three hundred posts.  (If there’s something from the past that you want to re-read, but can’t find…you can use the handy-dandy search box I’ve placed at the very bottom of the page.)

To celebrate my 300th post, I’m gonna be passing out door prizes to those of you who come visit my site!!  Nothing high-tech, big or fancy.  But some fun stuff that I love.  I will be having 3 give-aways, each lasting 2-3 days.  Hopefully one on Tuesday, one on Thursday, and one on Saturday.  Check back each of those for details on what the products are and how to win!

Herman Melville put it best when he said, “We cannot live for ourselves alone. Our lives are connected by a thousand invisible threads, and along these sympathetic fibers, our actions run as causes and return to us as results.” A perfect description of blogging, don’t you think?

I started blogging some years ago largely to pass time and share experiences. A small part of me, however, was selfishly hoping for admiration and affirmation; a shallow attitude I’ve long abandoned. Eventually, I discovered the joy found via “invisible threads” and “sympathetic fibers” – those human connections made along the way. Blogger tend to be a lovely comfort of strangers.

So after I tried to avoid the question I’d posed for myself by reading about other people, I figured I might as well take a stab at it.  I now know why other people blog, but what about me??  I don’t have a big “following”, although I’m finding out that I have a few “lurkers” out there!   So it’s not the feedback I’m searching for (although it is nice).  (Hint, hint: leave a comment.)

I think, for me and for millions of other people, blogging is just theraputic.  Typing out all my thoughts is much cheaper than paying a therapist!  You guys get to hear things that I would otherwise often only tell my bestest buddies or Marshall.  I would never probably never admit that I was in over my head to you guys if we were face-to-face. And I know that I would never bring up this topic in polite conversation. (Well, maybe I would…but I wouldn’t talk about it to just anyone!)  But here in bloggyland, there’s a freedom.  Freedom to speak freely.  Say what I think.  Talk about what’s on my mind.  And there is so much more on my mind, but it is time for me to go to Vacation Bible School with the kiddos…so maybe more on this another “Why do I…” Wednesday!