Never have I ever…

Remember that old game we used to play in youth group?  It would start out benign with someone saying something like “Never have I ever…been to Chicago”.  And all the people who had never been to Chicago would get up and move to the next seat in the circle.  If there was someone already in the chair, you sat in their lap.  Then someone else would say, “Never have I ever…eaten deer meat”.  And no one in the room would move because we’re from the South folks…we’ve all eaten deer meat.  The next person would say…well, you get the point.  Anyway, inevitably some guy(it was always a guy!) would say something totally gross like, “Never have I ever…pooped in my pants”.  Some people would vehemently deny ever doing something so disgusting(usually a prissy girl).  Some clever folks would realize that we all pooped in our pants as babies.  Other people would just admit that they had sometime in the recent past.  And then there was always someone who would squirm a minute, not exactly sure what to do and thinking: “Do I move?  Stay here?  If I move does that mean I have or I haven’tdone it before?  Dang it, now no matter if I move or not, they’re all going to think I pooped in my pants!  Gggrrrrr!” 

Ok…well, after this morning I was thinking about this game…and how drastically different it would be if you played that game with a room full of parents.  “Never have I ever…had someone else’s poop on my hand.”  “Never have I ever…been peed on by someone else.”  “Never have I ever…thrown up on myself just because people were talking about toenails.”  Ok, maybe that last one was just me, and in my defense, only because I was pregnant…strange things set off the vomit, folks.  Strange things.  ANYWAY…as I was sitting on the floor of my laundry room I came up with another one.  “Never have I ever…washed a pull-up.” 

After today, Marshall would no longer have the right to move.  He was kind enough last night to put several loads of laundry through because I was feeling like total crap.  This morning, I saw him going into the laundry room with a huge wad of paper towels. Here’s a play-by-play of what happened, if you’re curious:

Bridget: Um…what are you doing?
Marshall: There’s some gelatinous stuff all over the washer. I’m trying to get it out.
B: What do you mean gelatenous stuff?
M: I don’t know…some gelatenous stuff. Go look for yourself.
B(looking, perplexed): Well, it had to be something in the wash. What were you washing?
M: Darks.
B: Dark what?
M(slightly annoyed): Dark CLOTHES.
B(sticking her hand in the washer, feeling the gelatenous stuff and gagging): That’s gross! Maybe it’s the new towels????
B(now opening up the dryer to see if the culprit can be found): Aw…shit!!

This is when I see a dryer full of not only clothes but an overabundance of red jelly balls. (Red from the new towels, jelly balls complements of the pull-up.)  So…we pull everything out, shake off as many little red balls as we can, and start a new cycle on our new washer called “Clean with Affresh“.  Marshall cleans out the billions of little red balls in the dryer because not only are there billions of them, but they stink..thus causing the ever-popular gag reflex I’m known for these days!  I was at least somewhat helpful because I did run to the computer, Google “washed a pull up”, and found out that if you wash the clothes a few cycles, they’ll probaby be ok.  And whatever doesn’t come off in the wash will usually come off with a little duct tape action.  So…I’m off to start the washer again.  And then again.  And again.

(For those of you in bible study who think I’m never coming back…I promise I am!  I just couldn’t get everything cleaned up and all of us dressed and fed in time today.  I’ll see you next week!)

Just for fun(and because I just saw it as a new feature on WordPress)…let’s see how many of my readers have washed a pull-up or a diaper(disposable, obviously):

[polldaddy poll=1008501]

No Responses to Never have I ever…
  1. Allison M
    October 17, 2008 | 11:44 am

    Wow, that’s really disgusting. I’ll make a mental note to avoid doing that in the future.

  2. Peapodsquadmom
    October 17, 2008 | 12:45 pm

    Oh yes. I’ve done that a couple of times actually. And while the clothes eventually are fine, it’s a MAJOR pain. Good luck with that. Missed you.

  3. citystreams
    October 18, 2008 | 8:38 pm

    Still. Laughing. So. Hard. Whew! I love the idea of playing Never Have I Ever with a room full of new parents. Too funny. Sorry about the pull up. I’m sure we’ll have something fun like that in our future, but not yet.

  4. abragg
    October 19, 2008 | 6:57 am

    “Bless his heart, B” and we in the South all know what that means. And I haven’t yet had the great fortune of washing a diaper or pull-up, but have DEFINITELY washed my share of nursing pads which is basically the same – just smaller! The jelly balls are definitely an experience…glad it all came out & maybe the polo will serve as a gentle reminder for Marshall too 🙂

  5. Kristi Polk
    October 20, 2008 | 10:37 am

    LOL, that’s a first for me, but now I’m making a mental note of what to do when that happens…b/c I’m sure it will! I’ve had to clean jellyballs out of my carpet before, and that was bad enough!