Monthly Archives: March 2009

The Green-Eyed Monster is Sly

And so is this Super Secret Spy Lens from Photojojo

This little piece of awesomeness lets you take pictures while your subject thinks you’re looking the other way.  Ok…when I write that out, it sounds a little creepy. 

But seriously…it’s cool.  Just think about the great smiles you get when your kids aren’t looking at the camera.  And think about how your kids get that horrible “cheese” smile once the camera is on them.  And think about people who have only fake smiles when they know they’re being photographed. (I’m talking to you, Jason Waters!  🙂 )

I’m jealous.  I want one.  And my birthday is only in 3 months.  Hint, hint!

(They also have a little jewel called the white balance lens cap.  Double hint!)

Performance Anxiety

Hee-hee…I caught your attention with that title didn’t I?  🙂  My parents read this.  So do Marshall’s.  I’m not gonna get too real!  🙂

What I’m talking about is my insanely crazy fear of gyms.  I’m petrified of them.  Not only because of all the sweat and germs(seriously…that is so gross!), but because everyone else there is super-awesome fit.  And I…well, I look like this:


Not particularly super-awful, but not super-awesome either. 

But Marshall’s been going to the gym(at 5am when normal people are still sleeping), and he keeps telling me about this “Cardio Theater” where you can watch movies while you’re on the elliptical machine or stationary bike or whatever.  The best part?  It’s DARK.  Therefore no one can really see me!  The idea sounds great, right?  Yeah, I thought so, too.

Until…I went to the gym to check on rates and get a tour and such.  And while I’m on the tour, the (tanned and toned) personal trainer takes me into the group fitness room where a class is being held.  Horrors of all horrors: they stop the class when I walk in the door!  The teacher is one of the other moms from the kid’s school.  She stops, introduces me to everyone(all 5 of the super-fit-and-perfectly-toned women), and says how much they’d love for me to come to one of their “Body Sculpting” classes.  Seriously?  I’m more a clump of clay type of girl.  Not really a “finished product”.  You know? 

It really frustrates me that I get so weak in the knees about this.  I don’t know why I’m so scared.  I have sung in front of hundreds of people…without batting an eyelash or even getting the shakes.  Put me in a gym and I want to throw up.  Seriously.  I guess what I’m really scared of is going into “Body Sculpting” class and coming out looking like a first grader’s ash tray rather than a fancy, beautifully painted and glazed bowl. 

So, for now, I’m probably going to pass on the in-front-of-other-people classes.  If you need me, you can find me struggling to breathe on an elliptical in the dark.


The kids were playing in the yard with two big bottles of bubbles.  Each child had a bottle and each bottle was a baby.  Lydia was putting her baby to bed and she kissed the bottle and said: “Night-night, baby.  I love you. {long pause} Oh baby, I can’t lay down with you right now.  I have to go potty.  I’ll be back in just a little while to check on you.”

Apparently I use the potty excuse a little too often.  Hmm…what new excuse can I use?   Help a girl out…I can’t stay in her room all night long every night!

The White House is "Open for Questions"

Love him or hate him…you have to think this is cool.  President Obama, like most candidates, spent a lot of time in town hall meetings when he was campaigning.  Getting out to talk to “real people” is important when you’re trying to be elected to any office.  But it’s also important to try to keep in touch with those same “real people” once you are elected.  That’s not an easy thing to do as president.  It would just be a logistical nightmare from many angles.

But Obama really doesn’t want to lose touch with reality.  He had to fight to keep his blackberry, his email access is limited, he doesn’t have time to sit around and browse the web, I’m sure.  For someone who is used to having those things, I’m sure he probably does feel like he’s losing touch with the public. 

Anyway, the newest thing (that I discovered this morning while it was LIVE) is “Open for Questions”.   People were able to get on the White House’s website and leave questions(in written or video form) and ask the questions that were on their mind.  Then those questions were sifted through and pared down.  After that, folks were able to vote for the questions they most wanted answered.

Then at 11:30 this morning, the White House streamed live video of Obama answering these questions.  You can watch the whole thing here if you feel so inclined.

More than Linky Love

Do you want to be a part of the World”s First Ever Blog Proposal Event????  Sounds fun, right?  A guy in Iraq is in love with a girl.  He wants to marry her.  And he wants our help!  Click here for a little background info, and click here to add your info to Mr. Linky at The Glamorous Life Association or just get in on the fun.  (Note to non-bloggers:  Mr. Linky is nothing kinky.  It’s basically a list of links to other blogs.)

In the spirit of proposals, I’ll tell you about ours.  Marshall stepped out of his world of academia and into my zone of creativity for the big event.  The thing I loved was that he tried really hard(and succeded) to make it fun and memorable.  I love surprises, and I love rhymes.  So he wrote a rhyming riddle that took me on a scavenger hunt. 

I was doing an internship at The Council on Aging at the time, and we’d taken a group of senior adults to Stone Mountain for the day.  If you think it’s hard to keep up with a group of small children, you should try to keep up with a group of seniors!  Holy cow!  I’ve never been so tired(& hot & smelly) in my life when I got home from work that day.  But when I got there, I found Marshall’s brother waiting for me with Clue #1.  (I wanted to put the clues up for you to see, but we can’t remember them exactly and they’re packed up in a scrapbook at my parent’s house right now.  Maybe someday soon I’ll share them and all their cheesiness with you.  Then you can roll your eyes, while I smile and kiss my sweetie.)

The clues led me around town: to Blockbuster (where there was a clue was hidden in the case of Casablanca, one of my favorite movies), to a bulletin board on North Campus, and eventually to the garden on North Campus. 

When I finally got to my destination, Marshall(who can sing really well, but doesn’t sing solo very often) sang this song from “The Wedding Singer“:

I wanna make you smile whenever you’re sad
Carry you around when your arthritis is bad
All I wanna do is grow old with you

I’ll get your medicine when your tummy aches
Build you a fire if the furnace breaks
Oh it could be so nice, growing old with you

I’ll miss you
I’ll kiss you
Give you my coat when you are cold

I’ll need you
I’ll feed you
Even let ya hold the remote control

So let me do the dishes in our kitchen sink
Put you to bed if you’ve had too much to drink
I could be the man who grows old with you
I wanna grow old with you

And then he asked…and I said yes. 

And now 3 kids and 8 years later…he still makes me smile whenever I’m sad, gets my medicine for me, builds a mean fire, does the dishes(very often!), and sometimes even lets me hold the remote.  I’m still in love…

I don't talk English good.

After reading this post you’re going to think one of the following about me:

  • I’m an education snob.
  • I’m a hypocrite.
  • I’m cruel and insensitive.
  • I’m right.

I am picky about grammar.  I cringe when I hear people mix up the words “well” and “good”.  Using the wrong tense of a verb is like nails on a chalkboard.  And if you’ve ever typed “your” instead of “you’re”, I probably noticed.

Like it or not, we are all judged by the way we speak and write.  You simply don’t sound as intelligent when you say things like “I don’t want no cheese on my burger” or “They was planning on going, but decided not to.”

In middle school, I was the dorky girl who actually liked to diagram sentences.  I like to read articles by Martha Brockenbrough and I thought the book “Eats Shoots and Leaves” was hilarious.  And while the TEAL folks might be going a little over-board(they did get in big trouble for messing with national park signs), I admire their determination.

And yet, after all of that, I’m the queen of comma splices.  I over-use the ellipsis… And I love to start sentences with “and” and “but”.  I also get sucked into using common phrases inappropriately.  Like “literally”…and “like”.  🙂  Oh!  I also say “might could”.  It’s a Southern thing.

And I might be a grammar snob, but these grammatical nightmares make me laugh every time:

funny pictures of dogs with captions
see more dog and puppy pictures

funny pictures of dogs with captions
see more dog and puppy pictures

cute pictures of puppies with captions
see more dog and puppy pictures

funny pictures of dogs with captions
see more dog and puppy pictures

funny pictures

And the fun never ends…

We went to the mountains this weekend and had a great time!  We made smores, played skee ball and whack-a-mole, jumped in a bouncy house and did a little “rock climbing”.  (2 & 4 year olds aren’t very good at rock climbing, btw.)

AND Marshall’s OFF work ALL WEEK!  We were supposed to go visit Marshall’s sister this week…but then Uncle Sam decided that he needed our money more than we did.  So all of our trip money(plus some) went to the IRS.  😛   Stupid government!  (No, I’m still not a Republican.)  But Marshall had already blocked his schedule and made arrangements to be out at work, so he decided to just have some time at home.  Yay!

AND then next weekend we’re going to see all of Marshall’s family as we celebrate his grandmother’s NINTIETH birthday!

But in all the going and doing, I haven’t had much time to write or blog read(my poor Google Reader is so full) or call or email…I haven’t even had time to read a book, and I always make time to read a book!  I have had time to Twitter.  That’s quick and easy.  And fun!

Before I go crash for the night, I’ll leave you with one little funny from the weekend.  Carter and I were walking out of the grocery store and the automatic door opened for us.  He so very Southern-ly(is that word??) and politely said: “Why thank you, door.”  Too cute!

Wordless Wednesday: I-kind-of-forgot-it-was-Wednesday-but-doesn't-this-just-break-your-heart Edition


Dora…new and improved?

In case you haven’t heard, Dora’s had a growth spurt.  After years of being short and thick with a terrible bob haircut, the “suits” decided it was time  for a retramp revamp.  Taller and skinnier with a little shimmer on the lips…she’s apparently supposed to attract tween girls. 

Is Dora really a “grow with me” kind of product?? 

Dora: Do you like the mall? Will you help us get to the mall? (Insert exorbitantly long pause here) Who do we get to help us when we don’t know how to get to the mall?

Boots(who, after puberty, is forced to wear more than just boots): The map!

The Map: To get to the mall…first you go past the liquor store, then you go through the whore house, and that’s how you get to the mall! So remember…liquor store, whore house, mall.   Liquor store, whore house, mall. Liquor store, whore house, mall. Liquor store, whore house, mall. (Repeat 500 more times, just to make sure those crazy kids catch all the directions.)

Dora: liquor store, whore house, mall!!

I don’t even want to know what might be in Backpack!!

For an absolutely hilarious post about Dora’s new do, click here.


My Carter, dear sweet Cartker, had his first “wee-ball” game tonight.  Let’s just say he might not have a career in athletics.  As a matter of fact, his only chance of ever being on ESPN may be if he’s in the National Spelling Bee Championship.  And since he’s of my gene pool, I’m thinkin’ even the chance of that is pretty slim.

I know, I know…it’s his first game…don’t be so hard on him…blah, blah, blah.  He played fine…he’s only four.  I don’t expect him to be ready for the major leagues!

But it would nice if he

didn’t cover his eyes with his hat




play in the dirt during the game.

And, honestly, it wasn’t all dirt and hats.  He actually played pretty well when he was paying attention.  See?



Lydia, however, is ball-playing girl!  The girl’s just built like a softball player.  She can hit.  She can throw.  She’s only 2.

Today she wanted to practice with me while I was trying to help Carter hit the ball off the tee.  I wasn’t looking for him to slam it into the neighbor’s yard, but it would be nice if he could at least make contact.  She begged and begged, and since we were running low on time, I promised her that I would play with her tomorrow.  Then came this conversation:

Lydia: Ah-we(are…she’s got quite a Southern drawl) we going to Cahtey’s (yes, he hates being called Cahtey) game at the ball field?

Me: Yes.

Lydia:  I wanna play they(there…she also can’t pronounce “r”s).

Me: You can’t play there.  You’re too little.

Lydia: But I’m wheely(really) good!

Why is it that when we get older we lose confidence in ourselves. We don’t feel like we can say “I’m wheely good” at something. Are we afraid of bragging on ourselves? Is it not ok to brag on yourself every now and then???

Heck…we’re all good at something.

I’m really good singer. There. I said it. That’s not self-centered. It’s just true. I am good at it.

What’s something you’re really good at? Leave a comment here to boost your confidence a little!