Daily Archives: 2:25 pm

Wordless Wednesday: I-kind-of-forgot-it-was-Wednesday-but-doesn't-this-just-break-your-heart Edition

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Dora…new and improved?

In case you haven’t heard, Dora’s had a growth spurt.  After years of being short and thick with a terrible bob haircut, the “suits” decided it was time  for a retramp revamp.  Taller and skinnier with a little shimmer on the lips…she’s apparently supposed to attract tween girls. 

Is Dora really a “grow with me” kind of product?? 

Dora: Do you like the mall? Will you help us get to the mall? (Insert exorbitantly long pause here) Who do we get to help us when we don’t know how to get to the mall?

Boots(who, after puberty, is forced to wear more than just boots): The map!

The Map: To get to the mall…first you go past the liquor store, then you go through the whore house, and that’s how you get to the mall! So remember…liquor store, whore house, mall.   Liquor store, whore house, mall. Liquor store, whore house, mall. Liquor store, whore house, mall. (Repeat 500 more times, just to make sure those crazy kids catch all the directions.)

Dora: liquor store, whore house, mall!!
 

I don’t even want to know what might be in Backpack!!

For an absolutely hilarious post about Dora’s new do, click here.