Performance Anxiety

Hee-hee…I caught your attention with that title didn’t I?  🙂  My parents read this.  So do Marshall’s.  I’m not gonna get too real!  🙂

What I’m talking about is my insanely crazy fear of gyms.  I’m petrified of them.  Not only because of all the sweat and germs(seriously…that is so gross!), but because everyone else there is super-awesome fit.  And I…well, I look like this:


Not particularly super-awful, but not super-awesome either. 

But Marshall’s been going to the gym(at 5am when normal people are still sleeping), and he keeps telling me about this “Cardio Theater” where you can watch movies while you’re on the elliptical machine or stationary bike or whatever.  The best part?  It’s DARK.  Therefore no one can really see me!  The idea sounds great, right?  Yeah, I thought so, too.

Until…I went to the gym to check on rates and get a tour and such.  And while I’m on the tour, the (tanned and toned) personal trainer takes me into the group fitness room where a class is being held.  Horrors of all horrors: they stop the class when I walk in the door!  The teacher is one of the other moms from the kid’s school.  She stops, introduces me to everyone(all 5 of the super-fit-and-perfectly-toned women), and says how much they’d love for me to come to one of their “Body Sculpting” classes.  Seriously?  I’m more a clump of clay type of girl.  Not really a “finished product”.  You know? 

It really frustrates me that I get so weak in the knees about this.  I don’t know why I’m so scared.  I have sung in front of hundreds of people…without batting an eyelash or even getting the shakes.  Put me in a gym and I want to throw up.  Seriously.  I guess what I’m really scared of is going into “Body Sculpting” class and coming out looking like a first grader’s ash tray rather than a fancy, beautifully painted and glazed bowl. 

So, for now, I’m probably going to pass on the in-front-of-other-people classes.  If you need me, you can find me struggling to breathe on an elliptical in the dark.

No Responses to Performance Anxiety
  1. The Glamorous Life
    March 27, 2009 | 3:25 pm

    Hey you have a Tucker? I have a Tucker too!!!!

    Don’t worry about the stupid skinny MOMfia. You are awesome the way you are!

  2. Peapodsquadmom
    March 27, 2009 | 3:50 pm

    oh bridget…please talk to me before you join (if it’s not too late) that gym. and for goodness’ sake, don’t hire the personal trainer that i used there (i think there is only one). horror stories, i tell you. my orthopedist wanted to help me get her license pulled. yeah, that bad. she still owes me $100 but i just don’t want to see her face again. ugh.

  3. Jesse
    March 27, 2009 | 8:12 pm

    Hey stop talking bad about my best friend. I happen to know that Bridget is wonderful, and funny, and crafty, and loving, and fantastic just the way she is. You can always drive to my house and use my treadmill since i’m to scared to use it myself!!

  4. Kate Wicker
    March 31, 2009 | 8:33 am

    I love your sense of humor, Bridget, and I agree with what “The Glamorous Life” wrote: Don’t worry about pipe cleaner-thin ladies strutting their stuff. Break a sweat because it’s good for you and forget about the super slims.

    I’ve started working out at home even though my competitive nature used to thrive in the gym. I’ve found that it’s been much more rewarding because working out is about how I feel not how fast I look to my “competitor” on the elliptical trainer adjacent to me. 🙂

    And, yes, I’m still gestating! 🙂