Monthly Archives: January 2010

Welcome Back!

You may have noticed(or not) that my blog was down for a few days while Mommy Geekology helped me get my geek on and redesign my blog.  (Really that means that she answered all eleventy-billion stupid questions I’ve asked recently, and she fixed things as I broke them while trying to play with CSS.  I really shouldn’t ever be allowed to play with CSS.)

And although I’m back up and running, I won’t around for a while because I’ll be packing for Blissdom!  And  trying to figure out if I can make some business cards since I waited too late to order them. (Oops!)  Any quick and fancy ideas?

ALSO…if you were subscribed to my blog in a feed reader, I think it may be a bit confused by the transition.  Could I kindly request you to delete the old one and sign up for the new one?  That’d be great.  I’d hate for you to miss these life-changing posts I’ve been writing lately.

I’m working on getting my blogroll back up, but I somehow managed to not save my list from the old blog.  There are so many blogs that I love to read and want you to know about!   Have one you want to share?  Leave a link in the comments and I’ll head over and check it out!

Right now…

No  time to grab the camera.

No time to write it down.

Just time enough to breathe it in and linger…

Sara Groves, This Peace

Every Single Night

Mama, are you ty-erd?

Yes, baby, I’m tired.

Are you going to bey-ad?

Yes, baby, I’m going to bed.

Mama, are you gonna go to sleep?

Yes, baby, I’m going to go to sleep.


Because I’m tired.

Am I your favorite free year old?

Yes.  You are my favorite three year old.



You’re my favorite firty year old.

*smiles and giggles*
(both of us)

I love you.  Goodnight.

Goodnight, Mommy.

I’ll see you in my dreams.

I’ll come find you in the morning.

I can’t wait.

I love you, Lydia.

I love you, Mommy.

Goodnight, my love.

(This never gets old, and I hope I never forget it.)

This was written as part of the {W}rite of Passage Challenge.

Happy Birthday, Marshall!

When I look into your eyes, I see me as you see me.
You make me feel beautiful.
You make me feel worthy.
You make me feel full, happy, loved.

When I look into your eyes, I see your love for our children
And my emotions get caught in my throat and tears beg to be released.

When I look into your eyes, I see our past-
Where we’ve come from, how we’ve grown.
I see the good and the bad,
And I am grateful for both.

When I look into your eyes, I see our present-
Chaos may seem to rule,
But love and faith are really guiding our way.

When I look into your eyes, I see our future-
Birthdays, graduations, weddings,
Growing and learning together
But remaining true to ourselves.

I hope that when you look into my eyes that you feel handsome,
worthy, full, happy, loved.
Because you are.

(I didn’t post this on your birthday like I wanted to, but it’s cool…we can just pretend it’s today and have cake again, right?)

When I was FIVE, I was just alive.*

Click picture to see pictures from our “birthday extravaganza”.

Today you are five.

Five years old.

I’m not sure I can bear it.

I really want to freeze time.

You are happy and carefree.

You are kind and loving, often ready to help others, perceptive beyond your years when you see someone in need.

I can’t keep up with your imagination.

Or your energy level.

But it’s contagious.

You ask for me to tell you stories, and together we create long, winding tales that make sense to no one besides ourselves.

You make up “languages” and teach them to your sister, and the two of you can communicate for hours using “whale speak” or “spanish”(which is not Spanish at all, but that’s what you call it).

You still love Lightning McQueen and Buzz and Woody, but you are anxiously awaiting the premiere of Chuggington. (I hope it’s better than Thomas.)

You ask questions.  Oh, with the questions…

You make me smile when you use big words, and I’m often amazed with the details you remember.

You love school.

You love getting your haircut, but I think it’s because you have a crush on “Miss” Leslie.

Your prayers are sweet.

Your hugs and kisses are big and sincere.

You are five.

You are a big boy.

You are still my baby.

Happy birthday, Carter!

*Thank you, A.A. Milne.

Serenity Sunday

For those of you who follow me on Facebook or flickr, I promise this the last I’m I’ll force this picture on you.

How to help Haiti by saying Hello **UPDATED**

Every year  I seem to miss National Delurker Day.  I promise myself that next year I’ll do it, but it comes and goes without a second thought.  But today I was reading some blogs and noticed that “Hey!  It’s Delurker Day! I should see how many of my lurkers I can get to delurk!”  (Ok, really?  I just like saying the word “lurker”.  I don’t know why.  It may be the influence of my children.  I may wait for them to get in the car today and then just start saying “lurkerlurkerlurkerlurker” like they do to me and see how long it takes them to snap.  Is that wrong?)

Anyway, onto National Delurker Day:

No, it’s not what you think…it’s a day where all you people who read my blog(I know you’re there…I see the numbers in my stat counter) and don’t comment can say “Hello!”.  I want to know that you’re out there.  I do.  I really do!

And I’m going to steal Emily’s idea for today and say that for every comment I get today, I will give $1 to Compassion(who is responding immediately) and $1 to Heifer International(who will be focusing on the rebuilding of Haiti).  This tragedy has touched my heart, and one of our own in this virtual community has been impacted specifically(her daughter is adopted from the area).

Let me know who’s out there…and help me do my little part to help Haiti.

*I grabbed this graphic from Greeblemonkey, who I’ve never read before today…but will from this day forward!  🙂

**UPDATED: I had 20 comments, so I donated $20 to Compassion and $20 to Heifer.  Thank you all.

The Job

A few weeks ago, I said I was going to take the {W}rite of Passage challenge.  I wrote one bad post that even I didn’t like, and I started writing another about lunch only to find that there was something bigger and more beautiful that wanted to come out of my heart and my mind.

But this week’s challenge, should I choose to accept it, is “The Job“.  So without further ado, Challenge #5 (with many, many ellipses…and parentheses).

We didn’t start out so well, you and I.  Well, I mean…the very first part wasn’t so bad, but then the pain and the screaming and surgery.  Yeah, that could have gone better.  Normal vaginal delivery with epidural.  Nothing fancy.  Nothing out of the ordinary.  Except…well, first we found out that you only had three toes on one foot.  That was a bit of a shocker, I must admit.  But nothing we couldn’t handle.  When the nurses got you ready to leave the room, everyone followed you down to the nursery.  Everyone except Jesse.  (God bless Jesse.)  She stayed by my side because…well, because that’s what best friends do.

“Hey Jess?  I’m hurting.  Like really, really hurting.”

She set off to find a nurse, who tried to convince me that it was just the epidural wearing off.  (Let me go ahead and tell you one thing about me: I’m generally a very nice person.  But if I’m hurting?  Well…there’s no guarantee.)  I then convinced her to take a look, and lo-and-behold she did something I wish upon no one else.  She took a big, scary, deep breath followed quickly by “I’ll be right back”.

The next part’s a bit of a pain-and-drug-induced blur for me.  Doctor rushes in, takes a look, pushes lots of major drugs.  I get yelled at by a tiny Asian anesthesiologist because I’d had a sip of Diet Coke, which was apparently going to kill me.  They rush me to the OR, and I am literally writhing in pain as they try to get me sedated.

For me, in my memories…there is nothing again until morning.  Surgery complete, pain meds on board, and I am finally able to hold you, to be with you, to cradle you in my arms like I’ve always dreamed of doing.  Just me and you.  And as I sit and try to memorize the details of your face, your perfect tiny face, I realize that this is what I was created to do.  All that I am, all that I’ve come through, all that I’ve learned, every moment of my life…has lead me to you; to the most important (and hardest) job I’ll ever have: Mommy.

100 Days

(I can’t help but start singing “100 years” every time I look at this picture.)

I have a friend from college who is Korean.  He and his wife have 3 beautiful children, and as I’ve watched their children celebrate different milestones in life, I learned of a tradition I’d never heard of before: 100 day celebration or Baek Il.  (I have seen schools celebrate the 100th day of school.  Is this related to the Korean tradition?)  On the 100th day of the baby’s life, if (s)he is in good health, you celebrate, wishing him or her a long, prosperous life.  (If (s)he is sick, it is considered bad luck to celebrate.)  There is, if I’m not mistaken, a special cake with a specific design on top made from beans.  I don’t really know what it all means, but I do know that it’s a celebration of life, and a time to look to the future and anticipate all that will come.

When I started Project365, I didn’t really expect to finish it.  I’d tried it before a couple of times, and I always failed.  But I joined in with the Blissfully Domestic ladies, and they have not only encouraged me to keep going but inspired me with some amazing images of their own.  Last week I learned about painting with light from Casey.  It’s super-super easy.  And addictive, actually.  So go watch her tutorial video, grab your SLR camera and try it for yourself!

Happy 100 days!  I’m really looking forward to learning more and improve my photography skills in the next 265 days.

Playing Catch-up

By Wednesday of this past week, both of the big kids were back in school.  I had great aspirations for Wednesday and Thursday.  I still have Christmas decorations out.  I have brand new photo equipment begging to be used.  I have piles of folded laundry that no one else knows how to sort and put away.  But instead I spent most of the day Wednesday and Thursday(and so far most of today) in the bed.  I’m finally feeling better(thank goodness!), but on early Thursday morning I thought I was going to die.  Seriously.  I couldn’t breathe because my tonsils were so huge.

See…a few years ago I saw an ENT about my tonsils.  I get some kind of throat pain(be it strep or just an achey throat) about once every month or two.  That’s ridiculous!  So I saw this doctor and he was all, “Those really need to come out.  Now.”  And so I scheduled the surgery for a few weeks later.  The day before I went to go do pre-op blood work, I found out that I was pregnant(the one that later ended in miscarriage), so the surgery was cancelled.   After the miscarriage, the timing just wasn’t right for rescheduling  surgery.  With Marshall’s crazy residency work schedule, I had to figure out how to make sure I had someone who could take care of me and both kids for at least a week.  So…I put if off again.

Early Thursday morning, when I thought I was dying, I had a come to Jesus talk with myself.  It’s time to suck it up and get it done.  So I got Marshall to email one of our friends from med school who is now an ENT, and I have a consultation appointment with her on January 15th.  Hopefully we’ll be able to get the surgery scheduled shortly thereafter.

There are two reasons I’m scared to death of this surgery:

1) they say that this is one of the most painful post-ops ever, and
2) what if something happens and messes with my singing voice.  I would be devastated.

But I have hope on both fronts:

1)after Marshall talked to another ENT, he told me that women recuperate faster and fair better than men, and that I’d probably be fine after 3 day if I would force myself to practice swallowing despite the pain, and
2) Melanie(my ENT friend) said that the way they do surgery now(versus when I was planning on doing it back in 2007) is much safer for singers because it doesn’t even mess with the muscles you use for singing.  Also, I checked with Dr. Google, and this problem I have with my voice just stopping on me mid-note should be resolved once I don’t have those pesky tonsils in the way.
3) Also…bonus points for this solving the problem I have with tonsilliths.  If you don’t know what these are, don’t go check it out unless you’re prepared to be grossed out.

So…in a few weeks, I’ll be braving the knife(or the coblator, actually).   Even after all the good I’ve heard, I’m still scared.  And I want to do it, but I don’t want to do it.  Y’all have to make sure I don’t wuss out!  Promise???

(If you want to see a coblation tonsillectomy, click here to watch the youtube video. It’s a surgery, but it’s blood-less.  Ignore the overly dramatic music, please.)