My friend Emily (aka DesignHER Momma) posted something on her blog that really intrigued me with a video about motherhood. It’s not your typical “what to expect once the baby’s here” kind of thing. They went and asked moms what they would tell themselves if they could go back before their first baby was born.
Here are the answers from a few moms:
And so I’m going back and having a little chat with that young, tired and lonely mama
and telling her a few things that I’ve learned along the way.
- Get dressed every day(or at least every other day). You will feel better. I promise.
- When you need a break, take it.
Even if that means putting the baby in a safe place and walking outside for a few minutes. - When you need it, ask for help. There is always someone who can help you.
- It may take a while for you to fall in love with your child…but it will happen.
- It’s perfectly normal to feel like this.
- It’s ok to use anti-depressants if you need them.
- If you don’t remember every milestone, that’s ok.
But take time to close your eyes and memorize the sounds, the smells.
You’ll forget that faster than you think you will. - Write, take pictures, journal, do whatever it takes to keep the memories…
but don’t get so wrapped up in writing and picture-taking and journaling that you miss the moment.
I’m still working on some of those. Aren’t you?
What would you have told yourself?
What would you tell new moms?
I would like to note that this video was made by Nummies, a company that makes nursing bras.
I was not, however, contacted by Nummies. I just really liked the video and wanted to share it.
Of the messages in the video, “forgive yourself” is the one I needed to hear most. I really beat myself up over not having the delivery I thought I would and for struggling with breastfeeding with my first child. If I could go back, I might tell myself to do more preparation for labor, or to talk beforehand with my husband and employer about the possibility of part-time. What would I tell pregnant women? Ask people to come to the hospital, ask your family to come and stay and help, ask your friends for favors. Don’t be afraid to put people out a little now and owe them a favor later. I didn’t know in time how much I needed that “village.”
I would so tell myself everything you said.
Also: Sometimes clean and fed, are enough a the end of the day.
Little socks and clothes are very, very cute. But it’s still just more laundry.
Enjoy the newborn phase. It doesn’t last long.
They all eventually sleep.
Try not to judge other moms for their choices. It will come back to bite you in the ass. We all end up doing things we swore we’d NEVER do when we had kids.
Sometimes, a baby just needs to cry. Sometimes? A mommy just needs to cry.
And this is totally random…but I’d like to tell all new moms…you can’t tell out of a graduating class, which kids were breastfed, which were bottle fed or whose mom’s used cloth diapers. Really, you can’t pick them out of a crowd. Go easy on each other.
I would have told myself, “You are the stay-at-home” type. I wouldn’t have believed it, though.