Dear Diva,

You are a hoppin’, skippin’, bouncin’ little baby tonight!

When I was pregnant with your big brother(Carter), I wrote lots of letters to him.
I wrote to him almost every month after he was born, too.

I did the same for Lydia, just not as often.

Poor Asa…well, let’s just say I haven’t written to him as often as I did the others.

And you?  You’ve gotten a few measly blog posts and that’s about it.
(Sorry in advance.)

But knowing that you are (probably) the last baby I’ll ever have dancing around in my belly,
You have a special place in my heart already.

I find myself treasuring, savoring more.
I stop and watch my belly roll with your moves.
I press my hand against you and grab your dad’s hand.
“Feel this!’

(Just as a side note, I’d like for some other people to see and feel you move, too…
So if you could change your sleeping habits a little, that’d be great.
I’m not around many people at 11pm every night.)

In Jeremiah 1:5, God says to Jeremiah that before he was even formed in his mother’s womb…God knew him.
Before he was even born, God set him apart and put his plan into motion.

And I believe that God did that not just for Jeremiah, but does that for all children.

God knows and loves us all…from beginning to end, from top to bottom, from the inside and out.
And as a mother carrying a child, I feel like I have the special joy of being able to begin to relate with how God must feel.

I feel you.  I know you.
Before you are even born, I know you-
In such an intimate and amazing way.

I am so very thankful that I have this time with you.
Just you and me…as close as we’ll ever be.
And time after time, I find myself breathing deeply…
Hand on my belly, feeling you kick and squirm…
And I pray for you.

I pray that you are developing as you should be.
I pray that you will join our family and feel the love that we share.
I pray that you will grow to be a woman of great character.
I pray that you will grow to love God, love others and love yourself.

I pray that I will love you well.
I pray that I will teach you well.
And I pray that I will have the chance to see you fulfill dreams that are beyond my imagination.

And no matter how old you are…
Or how many things you achieve…
I will always be grateful for these moments:
Just you and me in the darkness,
kicking and dreaming.

I love you, my little Diva.
And I thank God for you every day…
Before you are even born.

Love, Mommy

I almost didn’t publish this post.  I have many, many friends who have children who were carried in their hearts but not their body.  I am a big advocate for adoption and I think that is a special and amazing gift from God as well.  I do not believe that the relationship I have with my children or my God are bigger, better or more special just because I had this opportunity.

9 Responses to Dear Diva,
  1. Lisa~
    October 26, 2010 | 7:49 am

    That brings back so many memories. When I’m around others and I have a baby moving inside I always feel like I have this special secret, just me and baby. So many of mine would only move in the night, I wonder what causes that. Enjoy this time my friend. Lisa~

  2. Cathy
    October 26, 2010 | 10:43 am

    What a beautiful testament to God’s gift to us.

  3. Momma Lioness Michele
    October 26, 2010 | 10:53 am

    Beautiful. Tears in my eyes from this post. xoxo

  4. domestic extraordinaire
    October 26, 2010 | 5:23 pm

    So beautiful.

  5. Lisa Katz
    October 26, 2010 | 8:35 pm

    I’m so glad you shared that. I’ll be 20 weeks tomorrow and your words inspired me in ways that I cannot begin to articulate. Thank you.

  6. Christy Lawson
    October 27, 2010 | 1:22 pm

    You have beautiful words to express a beautiful moment. 🙂

  7. punkinmama
    October 27, 2010 | 2:31 pm

    That is a beautiful letter and I’m so glad you shared it!

  8. Gramama
    October 27, 2010 | 4:27 pm

    I remember those very same thoughts and prayers when I was pregnant with you and Richard. Thanks for sharing! I love you!

  9. lisa @thebeadgirl
    October 29, 2010 | 10:39 pm

    beautiful post…i’m so glad to have found you 🙂