Waiting on Wit and Words

I’m exhausted; like first-trimester-can’t-keep-my-eyes-open exhausted.

I went to the grocery store to get a few essentials and then came home and collapsed on the sofa,
napping on and off for 2 hours.

Thank goodness for Playhouse Disney!!
(I feel slightly guilty at how much TV has been watched the past few days.)

My blood pressure is up.
I’m having twice weekly NSTs.
I have to do another blasted 24 hour urine collection.
(TMI.  Sorry.)
And then Monday’s appointment will bring with it another ultrasound in addition to the NST.

Both Marshall and Carter have birthdays next week.
We are supposed to have Carter’s birthday party this Friday after school.
And I find myself praying that I’ll be able to be here for it.
(Oh the silly things we pray for sometimes…)

It’s not even a big deal of a birthday party.
Painting a few magnets.
Decorating cupcakes.
And drinking Sprite.
(He has mentioned the Sprite more than anything else,
And guess what I forgot to buy…)

On top of everything else, all I really want to do is crawl in a hole and be by myself.
I don’t want to talk to anyone.
I don’t want to go anywhere.
I just want to sleep and read and take long baths.

Is this pregnancy-related or SAD?
Probably some of both.

I can’t focus on anything.
(As you can probably tell from this post.)
I’m cold and I’m tired and I feel bad for complaining.
Because I have so many friends who would give an arm and a leg to be where I am-
To have 3 happy, healthy children and expecting another.

I am so blessed.
There’s no other word for it.
And I know this.
And yet I still complain…
I’m even frustrated with myself.

So while my words are hiding,
Know that I’m reading your emails and texts and messages.
And I really do appreciate it.
I really, really do.

But I need to step away…

Soon enough I’ll find my wit and my words again.
And I’ll quit lurking on Facebook and Twitter.
And I’ll be back to my chatty little self.

11 Responses to Waiting on Wit and Words
  1. Mary @ A Simple Twist of Faith
    January 12, 2011 | 2:13 pm

    Take care, my dear. Sleep if you can, be good to yourself.

  2. domestic extraordinaire
    January 12, 2011 | 2:18 pm

    love you girl.

  3. punkinmama
    January 12, 2011 | 3:02 pm

    You take all the time you need and do not feel bad about it. Not even for a second.

  4. Liz Sanders
    January 12, 2011 | 3:12 pm

    No worries. You do what you need to do for you and your family…and if that means a 2 hour nap while playhouse disney plays on, then so be it.
    I’m all for that! If I lived closer I’d watch baby boy for you so you could nap, and I”d pick up the kids from school too! I know what it’s like to need a few hours of sleep!

  5. Mary @ A Simple Twist of Faith
    January 12, 2011 | 4:11 pm

    Slow down, and please take care of yourself.

  6. Rachael Mercer
    January 12, 2011 | 4:19 pm

    Although I’ll miss hearing from you….it will be fine. I completely know how you’re feeling, although it does not making feeling this way any better. Don’t let your self get too far in a hole before asking for help. You know well, after having three of these bundles of joy, that just after they’re born can be very difficult, too. Ask for help. Get some drugs if you need them. I’ll be praying for you. I told Q today, when he commented there’s a guy on FB who he talks to often and hardly ever sees in “real life,” that you and I exchange thoughts and information almost weekly, and in “real life” we’ve hardly spent a whole day together. I do love you, though, as a good friend and sister in Christ. And I’m praying things get better for you.
    Love you!!

  7. Mary @ A Simple Twist of Faith
    January 12, 2011 | 4:19 pm

    Hang it there!

  8. Christy
    January 12, 2011 | 4:41 pm

    Love you friend!! You are in my prayers. I thought of that sweet picture of your little girl and Marsh at Disney you took a while back while we were there this week watching the fireworks and I wished you were all there with us!!!

  9. Tara
    January 12, 2011 | 5:12 pm

    Friend, you have every right to be tired and miserable and to want to be alone so you can sleep, read, and bath. Every. Single. Right. I just wish I could be there to help you out with the kids. And I don’t mind you lurking.

  10. Heather
    January 13, 2011 | 9:02 am

    The Georgia weather currently has me so messed up–I think I’m in Iowa!

    That said, you cannot worry about others. YOU need to focus on YOU. Those kids, your husband, and that precious baby girl in your tummy need you to be present. IF that means that I have to miss you every day…so be it. Your health and the baby’s health is far more important.

    Send a friend/family member to pick up Sprite. Those little worries are not worth the guilt.

    Big smooches…tons of prayer…and a listening ear anytime, OK?

  11. Lisa~
    January 13, 2011 | 1:48 pm

    Oh boy I get like that when I am pregnant! I get so down about it, but afterward I think how silly that I let it get me down. It’s OK. Just part of life and no guilt feelings allowed. Take Doctor Lisa’s orders. Go rest and know that you are doing something very important growing a baby and your other kids will be just fine. Lisa~