I have four children.  Four relatively small children
And for the past few years – especially the last year or so
I haven’t been able to do much more than keep my head above water.
(Sometimes I haven’t even done that well.)

My house is often a disaster.
I forget to do things.
I miss meetings.

When the children are awake and home, my mind is on fast-forward.
Just trying to keep up with who is where and which child is doing what.
One-Two-Three-Four. One-Two-Three-Four. One-Two-Three-Four.
(I constantly count.)

But right this minute – this very minute –
they are all playing happily and quietly together.
(And they have been for a long time.)

I was able to make bread and do the dishes and a load of laundry.
With not even one interruption.
No one cried or complained.
No one needed a diaper or a drink.
No one attached themselves to my leg.

And this isn’t a fluke.
It’s beginning to happen more often.
And while I miss the teeny tiny baby phase,
this new phase is ridiculously freeing.

The impossible is becoming possible.
For me and for them.
And it’s exciting for us all.

A Lincoln Log is plopped down in my lap
And I peer down to find big eyes and wild hair.
Something crashes and someone cries.

We are almost here.
And it’s bittersweet.
But mostly sweet.

5 Responses to Bittersweet
  1. Sherry Carr-Smith
    April 21, 2012 | 10:47 am

    This is why I keep telling my husband that if we’re going to have another baby we need to do it now before I get too used to the independence of the other two 🙂

  2. anymommy
    April 21, 2012 | 11:20 am

    It’s funny how many of my blogging friends are in the same place. We really do gravitate toward people in the same phase of life. I’m so glad it’s mostly sweet.

  3. Mary @ A Simple Twist of Faith
    April 21, 2012 | 8:44 pm

    It is incredibly freeing and sad at the same time. Next week is Kindergarten registration for my youngest.

  4. Jil
    April 22, 2012 | 11:18 am

    Very sweet! Enjoy it because it ends all to fast! One minute you are changing them and the next they are graduating High School! I sometimes wish I was there again, but then I remember how hard it was and I’m happy where I am!

    You have a beautiful family, enjoy each stage you come to!

  5. designhermomma
    April 23, 2012 | 1:36 pm

    yep. needed this post very badly today. I’m trying my best (which is often trying) to enjoy this phases of my life, because when it’s over, it’s over. (thank God.)