Just when I think I’ve got it all ironed out, somebody shifts and it all gets wrinkled again.

“I’ve finally got a handle on this”, I think.
And then whoops!
I forgot about this or that or that other thing.

Just when I figure out the logistics of who goes where
and when they go there
and how they get there
and what time they need to start,
it all changes.

Such is motherhood, I suppose.
(Or really, such is life.)

Once upon a time, I rolled with the punches.
The ever-changing tide never pulled my feet out from under me.
I stood firm even on shaky shores.
But now?
Now I am juggling so much.
So many humans, so many schedules,
So many wants, needs, ideas, hopes, and dreams.

And I worry…
What if I drop the wrong one?

What if, while trying to wash and clean and tend and plan and prepare,
I forget to look and listen and love?

But the washing and cleaning and tending and mending and planning and prepping –
Isn’t it all done in love?

My soul crashes in and out with the tide, never sure where I’ll hit next.

It all rushes by me, and I gasp for clean air.
I choke on the sea spray, salty and bitter.

I look down at my fingers and find them puckered, and wrinkles taunt me again.


*Linked to Heather’s Just Write.

2 Responses to Wrinkles
  1. Jil
    September 4, 2012 | 5:36 pm

    Oh you sweet, sweet mom! I just love reading your life here. It is such a joy. You will be fine. It’s okay to drop things now and then, that is life. Especially the life of a mother. But I see you try so hard. No one can do it all, but you try so hard. Give yourself a little leeway. All of the wrinkles work themselves out until you find that you have something really comfortable to live in. Sometimes it’s worth just dampening and shaking instead of really ironing and smoothing. Keep up the wonderful life that you are providing for your family!! Just know there is someone thinking of you! Have a wonderful day!!

  2. CathyMartin
    September 4, 2012 | 6:51 pm

    We ALL drop the ball sometimes. That’s when you pick it up and go again. BUT, sometimes, you NEED to sit and relax and soak up the pleasure of nothingness! You know you can call me and Pops when you need to take that time. You are an awesome mother, wife and daughter, grand daughter……
    I love you!!!