Just Us

It’s not often that we are alone at bedtime.
I can’t remember the last time, actually.

But tonight you had a case of not-feeling-so-well and grumpitis
And I decided it would be best for everyone if we stayed home from church.

We sat and ate dinner.
You babbled and I watched you.
And you made a glorious mess.
(The runny nose didn’t help.)

I ran warm bath water and added some oatmeal soak.
Raging diaper rash has made bath time less than enjoyable for you lately.

I step into the tub and pull you in with me, slowly easing your backside in.
Whew!  No screaming this time.

You curl up to me, enjoying the skin-to-skin time as much as I do.
You try to stretch out and lie flat, but the water’s too deep.
I let your head rest on my thigh and you sigh contentedly.
Eyes closed.  Head tilted back.  Rosy cheeks.
You look like you belong on the beach.

Then you turn to me, your belly on mine.
Your head on my chest and your small hand on my breast.
I mourn once again the fact that I was unable to nourish your body with my own.

I feel your breathing.  The rise and fall of your chest on mine.
And I think back to a time not so long ago when we were in this same moment.
Nearly a year ago.
My, how things have changed!
(And yet stayed the same.)

I’m sorry you are sick.
But I so loved being with you tonight.
Just us.