14,980 days.

That’s how many days I’ve lived
how many mornings I’ve greeted
how many days I’ve laid to rest
how many days I’ve had a grandparent
alive and cheering me on

and for a reason I can’t quite explain
I’m not quite ready to lay my head down
and close my eyes on this day
not. yet.

see, today is the last day
that I’ve woken and lived and loved
on the same plane
as the ones who loved me like no other can

oof.

today is the last day
that someone remembers
what her daughter’s face looked like the day I was born

today is the last day
that someone knows
a hundred of my little secrets
whispered conspiratorially over the years
{are all grandparents great co-conspirators
or did I just luck up and get four?}

today is the last day
and tomorrow is the first,
a day I knew would come
but I wasn’t ready
quite. yet.

today is the last day
but tomorrow is the first.

So tomorrow I’ll open my eyes
for the 14,981st time
and we’ll gather
– though we may be few in number –
and we’ll sing the songs
and pray the prayers
and thank God for the moments we had
and for all the moments that will be