i need a moment…or two…or two hundred
just to breathe and hear my own breath
to be still and marvel at the wonder growing inside me
to be quiet and hear nothing but quietness
i need a moment…or two…or two hundred
just to sit and refocus
to pray
to think
to reconnect with myself
to look again at who i am
what i want
what i need
to think about who needs me
and who i need
and to appreciate them
and allow them a chance to appreciate me
no one can appreciate me right now
i’m too grumpy
even if they did
my ears couldnt hear it
my eyes couldnt see it
i dont even know if my heart could feel it
i feel empty
and alone
even while surrounded by all the chaos
i have nothing else to give
i am not who i want to be
who i need to be
who i know i can be
i need a moment…or two…or two hundred
and then i’ll be ok
i hope
I have run away before. When I just can’t take it anymore, I just get in my car and go. Sometimes I drive for a couple of hours, one time I drove to Seagull Book and bought the newest Anita Stansfield book (even though we were completely broke) and sat in my car for 4 hours in the middle of winter and read. I turned my cell phone off and just enjoyed the quiet.
Hang in there. I understand. I have been there.
Anything I can do?