(Or ten things you probably don’t need to know about me, but I have a compelling need to spew my secrets out for all of teh interwebz to read.)

If you know all of these things about me, and still want to be my fra-yand(as Lydia calls her friends)…let’s make a deal.  I won’t make fun of you, if you don’t make fun of me.  Well, I promise to at least not make fun of you often.  Or, if you’re the sensitive type, I’ll only make fun of you behind your back.  Your choice though…just let me know.

1. I never watched The George Lopez Show when it was on prime time TV.  But now if I catch it on Nick at Nite(and Marshall’s not around to make fun of me), I watch it.  And I laugh. Every. Time.

2.  I’ve had a boob job.  No, really.  Just not the way you think.  Way back in 1997(was that really 12 years ago?), I had a breast reduction.  My back thanks me, but my children will never be smart because I didn’t breastfeed them.  (Note the sarcasm there.)

3. 99% of the time I brush my teeth before I go to bed.  1% of the time I lay down and then realize I forgot that crucial part of personal hygiene.  And I debate the pros and cons of getting back up simply to brush my teeth.  Fatigue wins that one every. time. (But I do always brush in the morning!)

4. While we’re on the personal hygiene theme, I’ll admit that I don’t shower every single day either.  I start out with great aspirations each morning, but if I’m still not bathed and dressed by 4 or 5pm, is it really worth it?  Sometimes the answer is no.  Admit it: you’d do it if you could, too.  Every now and again.  (And just for the record, I don’t go into public without some sort of bath/shower.)

5. I also don’t bathe my children every day.  It’s rare for them to get more than 3 baths a week unless it’s blatantly obvious that they need it.  This is obviously harder to do in the summer with all the sweating and swimming.  But they all have eczema and the more baths they get, the drier their skin gets.   (Even though I can use that as an excuse, I know I wouldn’t do it daily if they had perfectly smooth skin. Have you seen what kind of mess they make in the bathtub?)

6.  Just so you don’t think I’m absolutely disgusting, I want to point out that I do regularly visit my dentist(where very few cavities have been discovered).  That’s not my secret, though.  This is my secret:  I love love LOVE that gritty stuff they use to “buff” your teeth at the end of the cleaning.  I don’t know what it’s called or what it’s made of…but I love the whir of the cleaner.  I love the taste of the cleaner stuff.  And I love the smooth feeling it leaves behind.

7. I voted for Obama, but I get that he is still, after all, a politician.  If I could pick someone to run the country, I’d pick the folks at Walt Disney.  They’ve built an amazing corporation.  Disney World is always clean.  They are the masters at portraying a positive image, even when things aren’t so positive.  Wouldn’t it be great if America could be “the happiest place on Earth”?

8. I have little bitty pinkie toe nails.  Teeny tiny.  And there have been times I just painted a little patch of skin to make it look like a nail.  Want to know why I had to do that?  Because I have a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad habit of wearing flip flops and then kicking the wheels on shopping carts and knocking my whole toenail off.  It’s really gross, and it hurts like hang!  (Get it…hang nail.  Hee-hee.)  I could avoid this whole tragedy by not going to the store.  But it’s a risk I’m willing to take!  🙂

9. My tonsils are the size of oranges…ok well maybe more like grapes…but they’re huge.  HUGE, I tell you.  So huge that I’ve had two surgeons tell me I should have them out.  So huge that sometimes when I’m singing, my throat just randomly closes off and air momentarily ceases to flow.  It’s not good.  But I’m a wuss.  And it’s supposedly one of the most horrible and painful recoveries ever.  And I’m SO SO scared that a scalpel may slip and ruin my singing voice.  Singing is an integral part of who I am…I’m not sure what I’d be without my voice.

10. Coming up with ten secrets about myself is hard.  I’m apparently too open and honest…you all know all of my secrets already!  But since I have to come up with one more, I’ll say that my secret is this:  Lately I’ve heard several people say to me (or about me) that I come across as really confident and self-assured.  I’m not.  And I’m kind of surprized that I’m percieved that way.  It’s good, I guess.  But in all honesty I second-guess myself all the time.  My inner band nerd is always telling me how ridiculous I am.  And I’m not nearly as confident as I appear.  (Shh…don’t tell anybody!  Once there’s a chink in my armor, I’m destined to fall.)