Sometimes my days actually are filled with (painted) rainbows and (plush) unicorns.
Sometimes my days really do seem to sparkle and shine.
And sometimes, on days like those, I feel like I’m not so bad at this stay-at-home-mom gig.
But then there are other days. (Like today.)
The days when I telepathically tell defenseless kitties they should stay away lest I kick them for no reason.
The days when I think I may lose it if I am molested by even a single drop of bodily fluid that is not my own.
The days when I want to put them all somewhere safe and drive away.
(Not forever, of course. A couple of hours would work. A couple of days would be even better.)
I think it’s fairly obvious that I enjoy being a mother.
I enjoy doing things with my kids.
I really enjoy being with them.
I have as much fun as they do with the singing and playing and rocking and cuddling.
Usually.
But sometimes the screaming and the crying and the touching.
Oh, heavens! The Touching.
Sometimes I just want to sit alone and not hold anyone.
Or send a quick email with no one in my lap.
I know that there are lots of moms who have day jobs and wish they could be at home.
(And I know that if I worked a full-time day job, I’d be one of them.)
But I also know that being the primary caregiver
all.day.long.
every.single.day.
is exhausting
and frustrating
and overwhelming.
I guess what I’m saying is this:
I love my life.
I love my children.
I love my job.
And most days I like my life, my children and my job.
But some days I don’t.
And on those days, just getting to bedtime is a struggle for me.
But ever the optimist, I always expect tomorrow to be better.
(And usually it is.)
***
This morning I found out that I was one of 3 people chosen to attend the Becoming Conference in NC. (This could not have been more well timed.) Many thanks to the One2One Network for their sponsorship.(I love working with them!)
I’m totally having a kick the kitties day too…
AND, I’m blaming it on the barometric pressure over Georgia, rather than on myself. Which is a huge step.
I think. 😉
Amen, sister.
Some days I want to call someone to come over and go disappear to a spa/b & b for a couple of days. This at-home thing is freaking hard work, and you have it quadruple mine. I’ve (delusionally) thought for a couple of days that Baby Bear needs a sibling so he can have someone else entertain him. Ha. If only it were that easy.
You can do this. You will make it. School will start soon, and you’ll miss the older ones. It’s how life goes.
glad to know it is not just me.. i always LOVE my family but i am in the “sometimes its tough to like them” camp as well… most days are moments of fabulousness shining through ordinary moments of “i can’t find my shoes” angst and bookended by early morning and late night whining or crying jags (the kids not me) although if i am really honest.. somedays after doing bills it is also me!
but it is good to let your kids know how draining it can all be because that shows what a mother’s love really is… and i would think sort of what God goes through too.. because despite the cycle of cleaning rooms, doing dishes, being a referee and a child’s social conscience, even with the fun of fingerpainting and sticky hugs.. the real love is that we never turn over and fail to get out of bed when they really need us.. the real love is no matter what they say when they are almost ten and learn how in their deepest anger to say “i hate you mom” no matter what they do.. the real mamma love is that we do it all over again everyday, day by day not because they love us but because we love them… the bonus are those moments that we can see who they might just grow up to be one day and we are blessed when we can see people that we just might like!
so go ahead girl and kick the cat in your head…and don’t be afraid to lock yourself in the bathroom and run the shower while you are reading a good book just sitting on the floor… even God lets in rain 🙂
You have said it perfectly. I know I have those days even with getting to go to work part time. I give you so much respect and awe at what you do every day. You are a huge role model for me!
Oh, and I’m so excited that you get to go to the Becoming Conference! The timing couldn’t have been better! Congrats!
You described it tee-totally perfect and I am not a stay-at-home mom. There are days, months sometimes that I wish I were but I tend to find my job to be my “nerve” tamer some days. Just like the song “Mr. Mom” says, “honey, I don’t know how you do it” If the job of stay-at-home mom was actually a money receiving job, it would definitely hit the Forbes top 50 top paying jobs!! Keep up the good work. Your children will love this entire blog, good and not-so-good when they get older!!