oh, my loves…

I thought I was going to throw up.
I’m still shaking.

I pulled them in close around me,
all except the biggest one.
He wanted to sit where he could see me.

They knew something was wrong.

Sometimes really sad things happen, I said.
And I have something really sad to tell you.
And you will have big feelings when I tell you,
And it’s okay to feel those feelings, whatever they may be.

Oh, my loves…
I wish I could spare you from this moment.
I wish I could wrap you in my arms and hide you
from pain and tears and heartbreak.

As the words slipped from my lips,
one cried,
one wept,
and one held back tears.

She asked questions.
He sat, stunned.

She sobbed and sobbed until she choked on her tears.
Big, fat tears cascaded down his cheeks.

Oh, my loves…
I wish I could give you answers.
I wish I could know what to say to make it better,
to take away the sting of death.

But it is here.
And it is real.
And we will all feel things.
And I want you to know, my loves,
that your feelings will go in and out like the ocean,
and they will catch you when you least expect it,
and sometimes they will squeeze you so hard that you can’t breathe.

But always, always know that your feelings are your feelings
And you are free to feel them.

And if you cry,
it’s okay.
And if you sit quietly,
it’s okay.
If you want to scream,
it’s okay.

But if you want to laugh, that’s okay, too.
Or if you want to smile, that’s okay.
Or if you want to sing, oh my little loves…

Music says words that we don’t know how to say.

And I truly believe she’ll hear your song.


2 Responses to oh, my loves…
  1. Dianne phillips
    March 17, 2016 | 10:09 pm

    Bridget, I love the fact that u allow them to actually feel their emotions and let them know that it is ok to react to stresses and sadness. So often we do not think of the impact on our children and a lot of parents take the “suck it up and get on with life” scenario. That is totally unacceptable and makes children unsure about their feelings and that attitude often leads to children who hide feelings and do not know how to express their sadness. This in turn leads to “acting out” because they don’t know how to value and process their own emotions.
    So very sorry for your families loss. ❤️

  2. Julia ONeil
    March 18, 2016 | 9:20 am

    Sing songs for her, for I believe she will sing along with you!