When you have kids, you find yourself saying things you never really expected to have to say outloud.  Here’s a collection of just a few of the ones I’ve been known to utter recently.  And yes, they do almost all have to do with some sort of bodily fluid.  What can I say?  I have a 4 year old boy…

10.  If you don’t know what it is, please don’t put it in your mouth…or her mouth.

9.   How did you get up here, and why are your feet in the sink?

8.  Why yes, that is my philtrum.

7.  It’s not a “damn car”; it’s just a regular car. (In response to Tucker saying, “I don’t want to listen to that in this damn car”.) 

6.  Did you just pee in my bathtub?  There’s a potty right there!

5.  You must always put on underwear before you come to the table to eat.

4.  You cannot go outside naked!

3.   Please tell me that’s chocolate on the wall…

2.  Did you just pee in the bathtub?  There’s a potty right there!Did you just lick the toilet????

1.  Do NOT suck on the dog’s nipples ever again, ok?