Daily Archives: 6:17 am

Ready. Set. Go?

Remember when I was all I-have-confidence-in-confidence-alone and I posted pictures of my legs on the internet?

Well, that same day I applied for a job.
It’s an online-work-from-home job, but it’s a real honest-to-goodness job.
And I would have to find childcare of some sort for at least a few times a week.
And while I do have mixed emotions about that, I think it would be good – for me and for them.
I love my children and I love being home with them…
But at the same time I think it would do us all some good if we had a little break from each other.

And then there’s also the I-don’t-feel-like-I-contribute-enough.
Which is silly because Marshall has never, ever (not even once) insinuated that I don’t contribute enough to our family.
(And I know that just being here and keeping things up and running is more than enough.)
But I feel like I could (and want to!) do more to help out financially around here.
And not that money is the end-all-be-all, but I think it would help me feel a little more accomplished.
(It sounds silly to even write that, but I know I’m not alone on this.)

So the job I applied for was a shoot-for-the-moon kinda thing.
I may not be the most qualified for it and they may have already dropped my application in the recycling bin.
But I did jump.
I did put myself out there.
And it lit a fire somewhere in my mind, in my heart.
(But it’s a small fire and I’m having a hard time seeing very far with such little light.)

So I’ve done a lot of praying.
And a lot of thinking.
And some more praying.
And reading.
And thinking some more.
And I have yet to come to any conclusions.
So what do you think?
What can you see me doing?