Monthly Archives: November 2008

I did it!!

I posted every day for 30 days!  Are you proud of me??  I’ve had fun, but I have to admit that it’s incredibly hard to keep it up.  I feel like out of the 30 posts, I only had a handful of really good ones.  With the others, I feel like maybe I was just wasting some cyber-space.  I probably won’t take the NaBloPoMo challenge again, but it was fun.  The best part was getting comments and emails from you all.  It’s always fun to see who reads my ramblings.

The next few days, I’ll probably be taking a break from blogging…unless something big happens on the baby front.  When I’m back, I promise to get pictures up of the gingerbread house we made with my mom, and I hope to have the “outtakes” from our Christmas card photo shoot. 

With today being the first day of Advent and tomorrow being the first day of December, my hope for you all this Christmas season is that you may be able to enjoy the season and all the many opportunities it offers, but also to slow down and enjoy it the little moments, and the real “reason for the season”.  One of my favorite quotes comes to mind this time of year:  “Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were big things.”

I love to shop!

Especially for Christmas.  I love buying gifts.  I love trying to figure out what to buy for each person, trying to find the best value, buying it at the store or having it brought to my door(Thanks, amazon.com!), wrapping it, and giving it.  I love the whole thing…

I think it may be hereditary.  My mom loves it, as did my Mama Jo(my dad’s mom).  She was the master shopper.  I promise that you never met someone who shopped like she did.  Once she got an idea in her head about what she wanted to give someone, there was NOTHING that could get in her way(and this was pre-internet days).  She would call 100 stores all over the world if that’s what it took.  She even had people at certain stores who knew her specifically; she’d call them and put them on the chase as well.  And, after a certain point, money wasn’t an issue.  For her, I think, it was all about the pursuit of happiness for her at this point.  She wasn’t happy until she had that oh-so-elusive item in hand.  I hate to admit that I’m the same way.  The harder it is for me to find a specific gift I have in mind, the more fun it is.

She was like that her whole life, or at least the part of it I was around to witness.  Towards the end, though, she wasn’t able to go like she wanted to.  She couldn’t drive to all the stores, walking was hard, her stamina was diminished.  So I got the lucky, lucky job of being her personal shopper!  Once I was old enough to drive, she’d get me to drive her “to town” and search for the elusive item.  And once I moved away to go to college, I don’t know if there could have been a more perfect scenario.  I had a credit card under her account.  She would call me and give me all the details of what I was looking for, and I was off.  Search the stores, search online, drive wherever the chase would lead me…all on her dime.  She was happy because she got what she wanted, and I was happy because I was doing something I loved to do and not spending a cent of my own money. 

And…I also got to wrap all of her gifts, too.  I’m telling you, folks, I love the whole thing from start to finish.  Wanna wrap this?  Heck yeah!  When I was younger, she taught both myself and my brother how to wrap gifts well.  We would hole up in her bedroom, pull all the gifts out, and wrap and wrap and wrap(she bought a lot).  Some of my favorite memories of my Mama Jo are from Christmas time…but it’s not the gifts I remember most(although there were some great gifts), it’s the buying and the wrapping and the time we spent together.  I miss that.

Allergy Alert

Our tree is up and the lights are now on it, but still no ornaments.  It’s kinda beautiful with just the white lights.  The only problem: I think I may be allergic to it.  I’ve sneezed and wheezed and blown my nose until it’s raw.  Tucker has, too.  So I’m hoping it’s something else in the air and not the tree…because I love live trees and I’d hate to have to give that up.

We had a great, lazy day today.  My mom and dad kept the kids again last night(have I mentioned how much I LOVE living close to them again???), and I was able to sleep late this morning AND read in bed.  What a treat!

After I got up and dressed, I went over to my parent’s house and we made a gingerbread house, which the kids thought was really cool.  I do have pictures, but I haven’t downloaded them off my camera yet.  I’ll try to do that tomorrow so that you all can see our work of art!

After that, we lounged around the rest of the afternoon.  We were even able to play outside for a while because a) it wasn’t cold and b) it wasn’t raining like it was supposed to be! 

Anyway, I’m off to end my day the perfect way: Snuggling with my sweeties while they finish watching the classic Rudolph movie.

O Christmas Tree

Since it’s supposed to be raining here the next three days, I talked everybody into going to the tree farm this afternoon.  Tucker found a tree of his own that he wanted, and Emmie helped us pick the big tree for the living room.  They’re both up and in water, but completely void of any decorations.  I hope that we can do that tomorrow!  I LOVE getting ready for Christmas!!  Anyway, here are the pictures from our tree farm trip.

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Our Thankful Tree

A few years back I saw an idea in a magazine that I liked.  I can’t remember what magazine it was, but I remembered the basics.  You make a tree out of boring old brown paper, and put it up on your wall.  Then you cut out leaves to affix to the tree, and on each leaf you write something for which you are thankful.  At the end of the day, it’s fun to go back and see what everyone else wrote.  I didn’t do this earlier because the kids weren’t old enough to really get into it, but I thought they would be this year.

Well, my paper-tree-making skills aren’t as super-awesome as the paid artist at the magazine, and I didn’t really want to put tape up on my new walls.  So, I did the best I could to make a tree and put it on the pantry doors(you see it right as you come in the back door).  It’s already beginning to fall with the added weight of all the leaves, but the kids had fun coming up with things they loved or are thankful for…and they really loved taping stuff on the “wall”.

Here’s a view of our “Thankful Tree”. 

thankful-tree01

On the base, there are all the names of our family members(immediate and extended, including #3A) and our pets.  They are, after all, the main thing we are thankful for this time of year.

Here are what the leaves say:
From Bridget-sunshine, books, my super-awesome new bathtub, Woolite Fabric Cleaner(it works wonders on our white fabric dining room chairs), instant fire, the sound of giggles, my dogs, Jesse, Noelle, Ella, The Jester’s, washable crayons(that wipe right off the wall with a wet wipe!), quiet

From Marshall-my Dawgs, our families, good job, football, our home

From Tucker-Daddy, apple juice, chocolate milk, a house with windows and blinds, my tall friend Gramama, Lightning McQueen, Ramon and Flo

From Emmie-food, black, princesses, my favorite Christmas princess movie, Emmie, Mommy

From Gramama(my mom)-grandchildren, beautiful fall leaves, hugs & kisses, bread & butter, a cool breeze, my parents, naps, music

Pops(my dad)-my knee is doing well(he had knee surgery less than a week ago)

Teddy(Marshall’s brother)-my family, Steak n’ Shake

Richard(my brother)-Bruce, Lester and Jang-a-lang(his pets)

Nana(my grandmother)-my church, my family, salvation

Papa(my grandfather)-God and all His blessings

What are YOU thankful for??

Cookie King and Queen

We have been busy little bees the last few days.  Keep an eye on the site for lots of pictures, because our frenzied flight will be going on a few more days. 

My friend Jennifer came over last night and helped us make Christmas cookies, and late last night Marshall’s brother Teddy came into town.   He had to leave this morning, though.  🙁  The kids love Uncle Teddy! (And we do, too!)  Then my parents and grandparents came over for lunch today.  Unfortunately, the only thing we have pictures of from all of that is the cookie making. 

This was the first time they’d ever done cookie cutouts(instead of the kind of cookies you roll in to balls), and we’ll probably never go back!  They LOVED it!!  Emmie especially loved “patting” the flour(read: making a mess). 

cookies01                                                cookies03

One Year Ago Today

A year ago today I was wearing a purple sweater with freshly purchased maternity jeans and a pewter flower necklace.

A year ago today I went to work despite my aching abdomen and hoped that no one could tell that I was hurting.

A year ago today I knew before I actually knew that something was wrong, but I wasn’t ready to admit it.

A year ago today I called my OB’s office and talked with her nurse, who convinced me to come oin for an ultrasound just to be sure everything was ok.

A year ago today my heart stopped when I realized that the tiny heart inside of me had also stopped.

A year ago today I cried as my husband and my doctor took turns hugging and comforting me.

A year ago today I sat in my OB’s office as arrangements were made for a D&C.  I’d seen them done before, and I knew the drill from the medical perspective.  Very little was said because I already understood the process logically.  And there are no words to express the process emotionally.

A year ago today I went down to pre-op alone so that Marshall could go home and gather the things that I would be needing.  I was both tormented and relieved to be alone.  I wanted to be held, but I also wanted time to process it all.

A year ago today good friends and my family came to check on me, help with the kids, and do whatever they could.  I’ve rarely felt so loved in all my life.

A year ago today my OB came in to tell me it was time for the D&C, and before I knew it I was in recovery.  I t was still and quiet there because it was Thanksgiving Eve, and almost everyone else had gone home.

A year ago today I came home with my family and I wrote this post.  I sat at my desk and typed and cried for well over an hour, probably more.

A year ago today my heart was broken, but by the grace of my God who loves me more than I love that little baby…I began the healing process right then and there.

And now today I am 34 weeks into a new pregnancy.  It’s been a hard one, but everytime I complain I remember the pain of not being pregnant this time last year.  And my heart hurts for those who have had multiple miscarriages or who have wanted, but never been able to feel the kick of life inside their womb.

And these days I am often achy and exhausted, but excited that in just a few short weeks I will be able to meet the baby we affectionatly call #3A.

And these days I still often think about Elijah Ellison Ivey and who he would have been, could have been.  He would be about six months old by now-squealing, smiling, kicking.  And I am sad that I will never know him like I know my other kids.  But I suspect that he’ll always be a part of who I am, who I have become, and who I will be.

So…little Eli, I’ll never forget you, and you’ll always be in my heart.  I’m sure I’ll always wonder what it would have been like had things gone differently.  And I’m sure I’ll always miss you.  But I won’t be sad beacuse I do believe in God, and I do believe that you are with Him.  The Lord bless you and keep you, and make His face shine upon you…and give you peace(from Numbers 6).

These are the days I hate…

It’s 11pm, and poor Marshall still isn’t home.  The kids went to bed without seeing Daddy.  There were several things I’d hoped he could help me with once he got home.  I’m sure Marshall would have liked to have some dinner by now, too.

But it’s not those things that hit me the hardest on a day like today.  He’s late because someone has a sick baby.  They came in for what should have been a “regular” delivery.  But once the baby was born, (s)he ended up not doing so well.  Marshall did what he could to stabilize the baby and then called for transport to a near-by NICU

I hate these kinds of days(and nights) because although I know my husband is a very capable pediatrician, there is only so much medicine can do. 

And I hate these kinds of days because this family should be celebrating the birth of a baby, and are instead probably scared shitless about what lies ahead. 

I hate these kinds of days because it reminds me that even when everything looks “normal”, there’s always a chance for a trainwreck.  There’s always the chance that something could go wrong. 

But these kinds of days also remind me that I shouldn’t complain about the minor things that went wrong today; I should celebrate all the things that went right.

The third go 'round…

Most of you have probably seen this before, but I got it once in an email and I thought I’d share it here.  (I would love to give the author credit here, but I couldn’t find out who wrote it…)

Changing Attitudes for 1st, 2nd and 3rd Babies
Your Clothes
1st baby: You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon as your OB/GYN confirms your pregnancy.
2nd baby: You wear your regular clothes for as long as possible.
3rd baby: Your maternity clothes ARE your regular clothes.

Preparing for the Birth
1st baby: You practice your breathing religiously.
2nd baby: You don’t bother because you remember that last time, breathing didn’t do a thing.
3rd baby: You ask for an epidural in your eighth month.

The Layette
1st baby: You pre-wash newborn’s clothes, color-coordinate them, and fold them neatly in the baby’s little bureau.
2nd baby: You check to make sure that the clothes are clean & discard only the ones with the darkest stains.
3rd baby: Boys can wear pink, can’t they?

Worries
1st baby: At the first sign of distress–a whimper, a frown–you pick up the baby.
2nd baby: You pick the baby up when her wails threaten to wake your firstborn.
3rd baby: You teach your three-year-old how to rewind the mechanical swing.

Diapering
1st baby: You change your baby’s diapers every hour, whether they need it or not.
2nd baby: You change their diaper every two to three hours, if needed.
3rd baby: You try to change their diaper before others start to complain about the smell or you see it sagging to their knees.

Activities
1st baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics, Baby Swing, and Baby Story Hour.
2nd baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics.
3rd baby: You take your infant to the supermarket and the dry cleaner.

Going Out
1st baby: The first time you leave your baby with a sitter, you call home five times.
2nd baby: Just before you walk out the door, you remember to leave a number where you can be reached.
3rd baby: You leave instructions for the sitter to call only if she sees blood.

At Home
1st baby: You spend a good bit of every day just gazing at the baby.
2nd baby: You spend a bit of everyday watching to be sure your older child isn’t squeezing, poking, or hitting the baby.
3rd baby: You spend a little bit of every day hiding from the children.

Pacifier
1st baby: If the pacifier falls on the floor, you put it away until you can go home and wash and boil it.
2nd baby: When the pacifier falls on the floor, you squirt it off with some juice from the bottle.
3rd baby: You wipe it off on your shirt and pop it back in.

I was a nanny for a long time before I actually had kids of my own, so I don’t quite relate to some of these.  I was careful and cautious with other people’s kids, but by the time my own came around, well…I never took a birthing class or practiced breathing.  I signed up for the epidural the moment I walked in the door.  I let my kids “cry it out” more than I probably should have.  As a matter of fact there were plenty of times I would make sure they were safe…and either get in the shower or go outside for a few minutes.  I got really bad about remembering to change diapers until I’d notice that they were sagging, had soaked through, or had exploded and left “pee crystals” all over the place.  I’ve scared more than one teenage babysitter by saying, “Don’t call me unless someone is dead or dying.”  I’ve sacred more than one other parent by telling them who I had lined up to babysit. (You’re going to let fill-in-the-blank keep your kids????)

BUT one thing that I’ve always been pretty good about is making sure that the nursery is ready.  With my first, it was painted and decorated, ready and waiting months in advance.  With Emerson things were even easier to get ready.  Since she was going to be sharing a room with her “big” brother(only 19 months old at the time), there wasn’t a whole lot we had to do other than move Tucker over to the “big bed”.  Luckliy there was no “big bed” trauma like so many of my friends have experienced.

This time, however…the new baby’s room looks like this:

yellow-room

As you can see, the nursery is full of boxes.  The crib is full of Christmas presents.  There is no shower curtain in the bathroom.  I’ve not hung a single picture or any drapes.  I haven’t even bought drapes or wall decor!  I do have an excuse or two, though:  we have moved twice in a matter of months, I’ve been sicker longer and more often, my “big kids” are at a point where you can’t trust them alone for more than 10 minutes, I’m supposed to be “taking it a little easy” because of my blood pressure, and I’m just plain tired. 

Oh, well…#3A won’t know what boxes are, or even actually be able to see them very well.  (S)he will need the crib cleaned out, but even if that doesn’t happen then (s)he can sleep in the car seat if need be for a night or two.  I’m pretty sure that (s)he won’t be taking showers very soon, so the shower curtain shouldn’t be an issue either.  I do however need to actually find the carseat.  And it’d probably be a good idea to buy at least one pack of diapers.  I don’t think Emmie’s size 5’s will be very useful.  I haven’t bought any new clothes, but I should probably wash the few unisex things I have…they have, after all, been packed up for 2 years.

I kind of can’t believe that I’m already a little over 34 weeks.  Since I’ve never made it past 38 weeks, that means little #3A could be(and hopefully will be) here in less than a month.  I really must look for that carseat tomorrow!

Silent night…

We had a special community service tonight at my church.  I always love these because there are people representing all the little churches in my little town.  It’s exciting to me to share our worship style with others, and especially to get a glimpse into the worship styles of others.  I’m a liturgy girl.  I love it.  I love to sing hymns from an actual hymnbook.  I love to recite creeds.  I love responsive readings and group prayers.  But I know that not every one does.  And that’s ok.  I don’t want to worship like that every time, either.  Getting a glimpse into the “average” worship styles of other groups is refreshing to me.  Choirs swaying and clapping.  A preacher who moves so much that the microphone keeps falling off.  “Amen” and “Yes, Lord” being lifted up as the spirit moves.  It’s exciting!  Tonight I felt like I was inside that movie The Fighting Temptations(which is a good movie with an even better sound track).

Anyway, after church we stopped by my mom’s house.  I found out that she was off work all this coming week!  (Woo-hoo!!!)  I have a doctor’s appointment set for tomorrow morning.  I try to always get my appointments set for Monday or Wednesday mornings so that I can go while the kids are at “school”.  Well, somehow it got past me(and my pregnancy-brain) that the kids don’t have school tomorrow.  I was trying to figure out what to do with them when it dawned on me that (if she didn’t mind), my mom could keep the kiddos!  I asked, she said “of course”.  And I decided to press my luck with “Well, they’re already here and it’s already bed time.  They could just spend the night, you know?  :-)”.  She took the bait, and I’m at home in a quiet house.  And tomorrow morning will be a quiet morning!  I can’t explain how excited I am about that!  I know that I’ve complained constantly during this pregnancy, but it’s still mornings that are the worst.  I still feel pretty crappy most mornings.  I still have nausea and vomitting.  And with the cold I’ve had all week, it’s just been worse.  So…Mama, if you’re reading this, Thank you!  I love you, and you’re a saint!

So now I’m off to (silently in my silent house) read a little bit before I go to bed.  And although I’ll miss my morning cuddles with my cuties, it’ll be nice to take my time in the morning without having to make milk cups or watch “Blues Clues”.