Today I got an email from a friend who’s considering scrapping her blog-
maybe starting a new one, maybe stopping all together.
Another friend is trying to figure out what direction she wants to take her blog.
Boy, have I been there.
If you’ve been doing this as long as I have(or longer), I’m sure you’ve thought about it, too.
She talked about not having a main focus, not having a purpose…and how that can be stifling.

I, however, really think the opposite is true-for me, at least.

I have no focus, no brand, no aim.
If I want to talk about my kids, I do.
If I want to be political, I can.
If I want to post just pictures, I can do that, too.

But look at people like Jenny.  If she’s not funny or witty and snarky, people don’t want to read it.
Or the posts where Catherine Conners gets people all pissed at her for her opinion.
It’s a friggin’ opinion, people!

The “famous” bloggers get trapped.  They get cordoned off in their specific arena and get stuck.
(This is not just my opinion, I’ve heard several of them say this before.)

My point is, there are all these “rules” that you’re supposed to follow to have a successful blog:
Don’t post on the weekend, including Friday.
Make sure you post at least X number of times a week.
But keep it under 500 words.
Know all about SEO, bounce rate, and traffic.
Brand yourself.

But me?
If I want to post something on Friday, I do it.
There are times I post two posts in one day, and there are times when I go for a week without posting anything.
And there are times that I write long diatribes, and sometimes my posts are nothing but pictures.
And I know about search engine optimization, but I don’t care.  Maybe I should.
Maybe I should develop my brand and market it.

But you know what?  I don’t want to.  I kind of like a having a small-ish readership.
I know most of the people who come to my blog.
I don’t have to worry about sponsors getting upset by something I say because I don’t have ads or sponsors.
(I don’t care if you do, but this is why I don’t.)

But as I sit and think about all of this, I’m beginning to realize something:
My definition of successful must be different from others.

I write what I want to write.
When I want to write it.
How I want to write it.

Sure I like to get comments, but ultimately I do write for me.
I write what makes me happy.
I write what I need to in order to get it out of my system.

And I write for my children.
I write so that they will be able to look at this one day and see who I was,
who I am as their mom, how I saw them.
And sure, there are a lot of stories about them scattered throughout these pages,
But there are also posts full of recipes and memories from my childhood.
Posts about things I do, places I go, things I make, what I think about and struggle with.
Things that aren’t mom-centric, but are still a huge part of who I am as a person,
And as a mom.

I write all of that – the mom stuff, the not mom stuff,
the pointless, aimless, non-branded stuff –
because it’s my story.

And although I like sharing it with you, my readers,
and getting your feedback in comments and emails and phone calls and texts,
I’m writing my story for me and for them.
And that?
That is what makes a blog successful.