Monthly Archives: August 2008


My parents are in the mountains.  My kids are with my in-laws.  (Thank you!) Marshall’s at the hospital.  And it’s quiet.  I can hear the crickets and frogs down by the creek.  It’s comfortably cool outside, the day promising not to be too hot.  I feel #3A kicking around with wreckless abandon.  I’m not sure that (s)he likes having a laptop on top of him/her.  (No emails about exposing my unborn child with terrible radiation from a laptop, please. 🙂 )

My only question is: why in the hell am I awake????  I woke up before 7!  Why, oh why?  No one’s here to distract or bother me.  I could have theoretically slept until noon…oh but no…I have to wake up with the sun apparently!  Oh, well…at least it’s quiet!  🙂 

So…if you happen to be curious about what I’m planning on doing with my quiet, quiet down time…or if you just want to make sure I’m not going to hurt myself(which apparently several of you thought was possible after the “Solitude” post.)  My plan for the day is to go to the farmer’s market.  I LOVE the farmer’s market…but not with my kids.  The last time I took them with me, I nearly came home with a gaggle of baby geese.  Who in their right mind would ask a 2 year old if he wanted to take home a goose???  Seriously!

And I’m going to look at furniture.  I tried this earlier in the week with the kid in tow.  Um…yeah…that was a bad idea.  Tucker wanted to try out every bed, and Emmie just wanted to run up and down the aisles.  Normally I would have taken the wagon, but furniture stores aren’t really set up to accomodate wagons(or strollers, for that matter)…although I’m not really sure why.  A lot of people buying furniture are new, young families…right?  I guess most people are smart enough to get a babysitter, though, huh?

And then…get this: that’s it.  I’m not planning on doing anything else.  Unless the urge to do something else hits me.  If, at 9pm, I decided I’d like to take in a late movie…I will!  If I want to read my book all night long, I will!  And if I want to stay up late watching all the things I’ve TiVoed lately, I might just do that, too!  Options, options, options…sweet, quiet, care-only-about-my-own-self-for-a-day options!

I'm a drama queen.

I know it. And I’m ok with it.

After my last post, I had a good cry and a nap. That’ll fix most anything.

Plus Marshall called the in-laws and they’re gonna take the kids for the weekend! Woo-hoo!

What will I do without having to worry about poopie pants, sippy cups and bed times?
Enjoy every single minute, that’s what!


i need a moment…or two…or two hundred
just to breathe and hear my own breath
to be still and marvel at the wonder growing inside me
to be quiet and hear nothing but quietness


i need a moment…or two…or two hundred
just to sit and refocus
to pray
to think
to reconnect with myself
to look again at who i am
what i want
what i need


to think about who needs me
and who i need
and to appreciate them
and allow them a chance to appreciate me


no one can appreciate me right now
i’m too grumpy
even if they did
my ears couldnt hear it
my eyes couldnt see it
i dont even know if my heart could feel it


i feel empty
and alone
even while surrounded by all the chaos


i have nothing else to give
i am not who i want to be
who i need to be
who i know i can be


i need a moment…or two…or two hundred
and then i’ll be ok

i hope

Wordless Wednesday

Technically I wasn’t wordless today…but this was too good to pass up:

Not that I'm telling you to make me one…

…but I did want to share the recipe for Lemonade Cake, the best cake ever!

1 package yellow cake
1(4 serving) package instant vanilla pudding
1/2 cup Country Time lemonade powder, divided
1 cup cold water
4 eggs
1/4 cup oil
3 TBsp warm water
1 cup powdered sugar

Preheat oven to 350°. Mix cake mix, pudding, 1/4 cup lemonade powder, 1 cup cold water, eggs and oil. Bake in Bundt pan for 50-55 minutes. While cake is baking, you can make the glaze: Mix 1/4 cup lemonade powder with powdered sugar, and mix in warm water. (You want it to be liquid-y, so if you do it too early and it gets “stiff” just pop it in the microwave for a few seconds!) After removing cake from oven, cool for 5 minutes and flip out onto serving platter. While the cake is still warm, use a fork or skewers to poke holes all over the cake. Pour glaze over cake. Cool and enjoy!

I never said it was healthy…but it sho’ is good!

An attempt.

I’m trying to pull myself out of the funk. I thought that maybe if I wrote something, I’d get some juices flowing and get back into the swing of things. I love blogging and reading blogs, and I hate it when I have nothing to say. So…here goes my writing practice. Read if if you want-but my feelings won’t be hurt if you don’t. (Plus I’ll never really know, will I?) It’s a meme-type thing that I stole from citystreams(who stole it from Bethany Actually). They’re both really great bloggers, so you should mosey on over to read theirs, too. Ok…enough procrastinating. Get started already!

Ten Things I Wish I Could Say To Ten Different People Right Now(if had the confidence to do so):
1. I feel bad about the time I said something about your hair. I never brought it up again, but I think about it sometimes and it makes me sad that I made you feel bad. I don’t know if you remember it or not, but if you do: I’m sorry.
2. It’s usually not you who deserves my yelling, fussing, complaining, etc. But I’m thankful that you usually take it so well and know that it’ll all blow over soon.
3. I can’t wait to met you IRL.
4. I love the sound of your voice, especially when you sing.
5. I miss you most when I find a great bargain and want to call someone and tell them all about it.
6. I would kill for hair like yours!
7. I wish I spent more quality time with you. It’s my own fault that I don’t, and I don’t know what keeps holding me back.
8. I know that you think I’ll never attain some of the goals I have for myself, and I will prove you wrong.
9. I’m a Democrat…most of the time. I just usually keep my mouth shut. I hope that if you ever do find out, you won’t care. But I have a feeling that you would care, and that kind of makes me sad. I wish we could all celebrate our differences.
10. I only met you once, but you left a big impression on me. I hate that I never got the chance to get to know you, and I hope that your daughter has lots of people to always remind her how wonderful a person you were.

Nine Things About Myself:
1. I love Diet Coke.
2. I really love pasta.
3. I love kisses from my kids even more than coke or pasta.
4. I’m pretty crafty(in an arts and crafts kind of way), when I put my mind to it.
5. I wish I had more time to be craftier.
6. I am a Christian, but I really strive to be aware and sensitive to other’s beliefs and ideals.
7. Music moves me in ways that nothing else can. 
8. I love to read mindless “chick lit“.
9. I am getting really excited about our new house!

Eight Ways To Win My Heart:
1. Make me laugh.
2. Make a lemonade cake just for me.
3. Clean my house.
4. Babysit.
5. Massage my shoulders, head and neck.
6. Give me moo-lah!
7. Take me on a shopping spree! Whee!
8. Be excited about something I’m excited about!

Seven Things That Cross My Mind A Lot:
1. I hope I never run over a child(mine or somebody else’s) with my car.  It’s one of my biggest fears in life, and I think about it almost every time I turn on my car.
2. Man, Marshall is really good to me!
3. I (heart) my munchkins!
4. I really wish I could not throw up today.
5. I wish Target was a little closer.
6. How cute is that??
7. I wish I were more patient…

Six Things That I Do Before I Fall Asleep:
1. Check my email.
2. Brush my teeth.
3. Take my meds.
4. Brush my hair.
5. Silence my cell phone.
6. Often, read.

Five People Who Mean A Lot:
(Seriously?? Only five??)
1. Marshall
2. Tucker
3. Emmie
4. #3A, who doesn’t yet have a name
5. You (Did you really think that I could name one more without getting in trouble with somebody?)

Four Things I Am Wearing Right Now:
1. Uncomfortable maternity jeans
2. An uncharacteristically pink shirt
3. Not one, but two barrettes. I hate when my hair is in my face!
4. My go-to black necklace with an I-have-no-clue-what-it-means Chinese symbol on it

Three Songs That I Listen To Often(currently):
1. Glory, Glory to Old Georgia
2. Edelweiss
3. The More We Get Together

Two Things I Want To Do Before I Die:
1. Become a doctor
2. Take Marshall to Europe

One Confession:
1. I wish I was a better mother. It may be conceited of me to say, but I’m really good with other people’s kids. I have much more patience with them than with mine. I plan more and do more activities as a babysitter than as a mother. I don’t yell at other people’s kids. I don’t put them off just so I can read or watch something on TV or make a phone call.  I wish I would be better at managing and maximizing my time with the kids.  And I have to admit that there are many times when I wonder whether or not I would appreciate them more-and they me-if I worked outside the home.  If we had less time together, would I be better about spending quality time with them when I was home?

I'm in a funk.

I still just don’t feel good in general.  It sucks.  And I don’t want this to turn into a complaints-only blog, so I just haven’t been writing.  Plus, I don’t seem to have much to write about.  Nothing exceptionally good has happened, nor anything exceptionally bad.  We’re just going about our day-to-day lives…

The baby is kicking regularly now, and I feel lots of movement.  I’m convinced now that I was actually feeling movement early on.  I wasn’t sure if it was baby or gas…it’s hard to tell at first!  I figured surely no baby moved that much…it must be gas.  But (s)he does move quite a bit, so I guess it was him/her the whole time!  Not that it doesn’t suck to still be sick and to still have headaches and to still be ache-y all over…but there is some instant gratification that comes with feeling the little sucker move about!

I’m really starting to get excited about the new house.  Living with my parents hasn’t been bad at all.  Quite the opposite, really!  It’s been nice to have extra sets of hands to help out with the kiddos, especially on those days I feel extra crappy.  But it will be nice to have more room.  I’m sick of tripping over trucks and dolls and books and puzzles.  Oh, wait!  I trip over trucks and dolls and books and puzzles no matter where we live.  But at least I’ll be tripping over them in my own space.  And the kids won’t have to share a bed anymore(bedtime’s the only thing that’s been a bit of a pain since we’ve been here)!

Anyway, I stopped by the new housethe other day to take a look around.  It’s been a while since I’d actually seen it, so I needed to figure out sizes and colors and such-that way I can get furniture ready.  I love picking out all the new furniture and paint colors and accessories!  For our bedroom(which up until now has been a hodge-podge of stuff), I found some stuff from IKEA that I like.  It’s nothing fancy.  As a matter of fact it’s fairly plain.  But Marshall and I both like it and it will look great with the quilt I already have and love, so we’re going to make a pilgrimage and pick it all up.  While we’re there we’re also going to look at living room furniture.  I think I like the Ektorp leather furniture, but I want to see it and feel it before I make a decision.  We’re pretty settled on getting leather this time, but I’m pretty picky about how soft it has to be.  None of this stick-to-your-legs-like-in-a-car leather.  Yuck!

The kids are excited about all the new stuff for their bedrooms, too.  We’re going to paint Tucker’s room blue and instead of a chair rail, I’m going to paint a race track out of black chalk paint.  His bedspread is a red car quilt, and it has a cute little steering wheel pillow.  Emmie has a typical little girl room.  I had originally planned on doing red and black ladybug stuff.  But the room is already pink(which she likes much more than I do), so I went with that instead.  I found a daisy quilt at Target which is much cuter in person than in the picture.  It’s got a ton of colors: pink, purple, yellow, green.  She was a little pissy that Tucker got a pillow and she didn’t.  But they didn’t have one…so I went today and found one at Kmart of all places!  It’s a butterfly…to me it has a scary face, but she likes it and it was cheap.  So now we’re all happy!

Just so you can see what I’m thinking(scary, I know), I put together a slide show of the things I’ve either bought or I’m planning to buy.  Let me know what you think. 

[slideshow id=936748722512049430&w=426&h=320]

Wordless Wednesday


Headache Update

For those of you who have been following my “baby drama”, I wanted to post and let you know that today was a good day!  I still had that same damn baseline headache, but it wasn’t nearly as bad as it has been previously.  AND I was outside in the heat for well over an hour, and I didn’t get sick!!  Apparently the prayers from you all are working…keep doing what you’re doing!

Marshall saw one of my OBs at the hospital, and she’s going to talk to the neurologist in town(someone we actually know, but I never thought of asking him myself!) and see if he has any good suggestions.  Maybe he can at least teach me how to deal with the migraines when they do come.

I still haven’t gotten our pictures from Charlotte off my camera and edited…hope to do that soon.  And I’m also supposed to go to a beautiful home here in town to take Em’s 2 year old portraits.  Hopefully she’ll be cooperative and let me get some good shots! 

Don’t give up on me…I promise to regularly blog again soon!


I am so sick of headaches I could scream…but that would make it worse, now wouldn’t it???

When I was pregnant with Tucker and Emmie, I threw up some and was really tired…but it was manageable.  It started somewhere around week 9 and was over by week 12.  Easy.  Pregnancy #3 was even easier the 12 weeks that it lasted.  But #3A is kicking my ass!  I feel like crap all the time.  I’m not kidding.  Ask Marshall or my mom or-poor little things-my kids.  If I’m not about to throw up, then I probably have a killer headache.  And if neither of those are happening, I’m probably having inexplicable aches and pains like I’ve never experienced before.  Now I know I’m out of shape.  I’m well aware that a little lot of exercise would do me some good.  But while we were on vacation I’d walk a block or two and be dying!  Mild contraction-type pain.  Ouch!

I’m trying to blame it all on the heat.  See, I don’t have very good temperature regulation as it is.  I can remember being at band camp in high school(yes, I was a band nerd and liked it!).  I’d be out on the field marching and tooting my flute, cheeks red, sweat pouring, feeling yucky.  I’d just be marching along, and all of a sudden it would hit me: a terrible wave of nausea.  There was no rhyme or reason to how hot I had to get or how long I’d been out in the heat.  But eventually I’d puke.  Gross, gross, gross.  The grossest part: I still do that today.  Hot Bridget=vomiting Bridget.  It’s just plain gross.

As a fair-skinned redhead, I do my absolute best to remain indoors every moment of every day in the summer.  I don’t like to be hot.  I don’t like to soak up the sun.  I hate the beach.  But sometimes it’s completely unavoidable.  Like today…the family decided to go on a trolley ride.  The kids had been asking, and I thought it’d be fun to hear a little bit of our town’s history.  Don’t get me wrong; the trolley was cool and I did learn some facts I’d never heard before.  BUT…nobody mentioned the fact that you get off the trolley multiple times!  In all our traipsing in and out I, of course, got hot.  I managed to not throw up like I wanted to (complements to my little friend Zofran), but the headache had begun.  Sometimes I can drink up a bunch of water and be fine(I drank 3 LARGE glasses at lunch).  Sometimes eating helps(I tried to eat, but couldn’t stomach much).  Sometimes relaxing in a warm bath or just taking a nap will help.  But today…nothing.  So I pulled out my hidden weapon: Percocet.  But today even that didn’t work. 

Several people I’ve talked to have asked me if I’ve tried acupuncture.  I’m not really an alternative medicine kind of person, but I’m thinking about giving it a shot.  There was a point in my life when I did not deal well with needles, but took that fear by it’s horns when I signed up for a drug trial that required several series’ of shots and frequent blood draws.  Needles are nothin’ now.  So now I’m thinking…bring it on!  What do you guys think????  It’s safe during pregnancy, and really what do I have to lose, right?  If it doesn’t work, it doesn’t work.  If it does, I’ll be my happy(-ish) old self again! 

If you have any other solutions you think might work before I go the drastic needles-in-my-face route, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE let me know!  I’m willing to try almost anything at this point!!