Boob-Free Bonding

Breast may be best,
but not for us.

We tried.
I tried (again).
And it just.didn’

But giving you a bottle is more than just something to check off my to-do list.
It’s a pleasure.  It’s a joy.  It’s something I love to do.

I love the way you curl all of your little fingers around one of mine.
And you hold on tight, surprisingly strong.

I love the way you search my eyes and I search yours.
The two of us, figuring out who we are…you and me together.

I love the way you snuggle up close and tuck your head close to my heart(literally and figuratively).
And I can feel the rhythm of your heartbeat pulsing between us.

I love the way, once you fall asleep in my arms, your breaths ebb and flow like ocean waves.
And I feel your chest rise and fall against my own.

Breast may be best,
But boob-free bonding can be pretty great, too.

6 Responses to Boob-Free Bonding
  1. Liz sanders
    February 9, 2011 | 1:26 am

    Bottles also offer that type of bonding for other family members as well. Plus Daddy can get up in the middle of the night with baby in the middle of the night. Any way You bond with your baby is perfect, bottle or breast!

  2. Laura (@chambanalaura)
    February 9, 2011 | 1:51 am

    I’m not supposed to say this … but I wonder if I would have enjoyed my babies more if I had bottle-fed them. Thanks for this perspective.

  3. domestic extraordinaire
    February 9, 2011 | 12:30 pm

    I can’t tell you how bad I felt when I sent you that link not long ago for the pump & how I just assumed you were BF’ing. I think that whether you bottle fed or breast feed the bond that is created is just as strong and I love that you are encouraging others through your experiences.

    (geez, that last part made me feel like the weird PR stuff I get in my inbox….your post in intriguing I would like to offer my services to your well written word)

    xo my friend.

  4. But Why Mommy
    February 9, 2011 | 12:41 pm

    That was beautiful. It reminded me of the way I bonded with my kids after their adoptions you find a way that works best for both of you.

  5. Alicia
    February 9, 2011 | 12:55 pm

    Beautiful… Elegant… and 100% the truth. Thanks.

  6. monica
    February 9, 2011 | 1:16 pm

    i felt enormous guilt when i couldn’t exclusively breastfeed my three. i tried. so hard. i managed to nurse sweet pea for 4 months while pumping for the boys…but i always had to supplement with formula. the pressure to breastfeed is huge. and i really do get that it’s awesome. but it’s also not possible for all moms, and i don’t think those of us who can’t make it work should beat ourselves up over it. i LOVE that you’ve pointed out the positives of bottle feeding and are turning it into your own unique bonding experience! yet another reason why those 4 little ones are incredibly blessed to call you mommy. 😉